Feeling Comfortable in My Own Skin


I didn’t hear from Aiden throughout the entire next day and then I didn’t see him when I went to our next Psych class the day after that.  He wasn’t sitting where he had been on the first day and I couldn’t find him anywhere in the lecture hall.  I was beginning to get depressed and started to think that something was definitely wrong, when he scooted past me and sat down on my right. 

"Hi, I was almost late," he sighed breathlessly as Dr. Swift began to speak. 

“If you weren’t present for the first class session,” he began, “or I didn’t call your name that day, then please stand up and leave now.  This section is already overenrolled, so I won’t by adding on any additional students.  You’ll need to go to the registrar’s office, so they can either set you up in another section or put you in with a different professor. 

I saw three people rise and leave the lecture hall. 

‘Poor bastards,’ I thought.  ‘I wonder what they’re going to do now or if they’ll even be able to get placed in another class?

"I'm glad we're not one of them," Aiden said, as we watched them stroll out of the room.  I merely nodded my head in agreement. 

Dr. Swift then began his lecture and we were busy taking notes from that point on.  He covered an awful lot for his first lecture and I was pretty overwhelmed.  I had done the required reading, but it seemed as if most of the stuff he’d covered hadn’t even been in the chapters I’d read.  Did I screw up and read the wrong stuff?  My mind was still reeling when the class ended and Aiden spoke to me.

“I didn’t have a chance to tell you this earlier, because I barely made it here in time,” he began, ”but I got it cleared for you to move in with me.  That’s why I was late getting to class in the first place.  Housing said they’d give you until the end of the weekend to get your things moved."

"Really?  That's awesome!" I shouted.

"I'll help you take some of your belongings over tonight, if you want," Aiden offered. 

"Yeah.  Why wait?" I answered.

I’m not sure, but Aiden seemed to be as excited about this as I was.  Damn.  I’ve never been this lucky before.  Will this new lucky streak continue or will my good fortune suddenly end in a big ball of flames?

I still had one more class and a lab that afternoon, but Aiden only had another class.  We agreed to meet at my dorm room at 5:00, since my lab would get out at 4:00 or a little after.  Aiden said we could carry one or two loads over to his room then and even offered to take me out and buy me dinner afterward, rather than eat at the dining hall.  He said it would be his way of welcoming me as his new roommate.  Was that super sweet of him or what?  He's just so thoughtful.

It seemed as if my class and lab were never going to end, because the professors didn’t appear to want to stop droning on and on in an endless rant about trivial bullshit.  When my lab was finally dismissed, I raced back to my dorm and began packing my stuff in anything I could find that would hold it.  There was a knock on my door about fifteen minutes before 5:00, so I raced over and opened it.  Aiden was standing there holding a few empty boxes.

“I thought you might be able to use these to move some of your belongings,” he announced, as he walked in and set the boxes down.  “Do you want me to help you pack or are you ready to start carrying your things over now?"

"You can help me pack some of my clothes, if you want," I suggested.

"Sure," Aiden agreed.

“Okay, then you can start taking the stuff out of the dresser and putting it in those boxes you just brought in," I explained. 

"As good as done," Aiden replied enthusiastically. 

He quickly moved over to my dresser and opened the top drawer.  He pulled out a few items and then turned toward me. 

"So you like boxer briefs too?" he asked as he held up a pair of my underwear.

“Yes.  They give me the advantages of both boxers and briefs,” I told him.  “I grew up wearing briefs and tried switching to boxers in high school, but I didn’t like them.  It seemed like something was lacking, because I missed the support the briefs gave me.  When I wore boxers, it felt like my nuts were always sticking to the inside of my legs."  Aiden giggled. 

"I know what you mean and I prefer boxer briefs as well," he confirmed. 

After saying this, he then went back to packing my clothes from the dresser, but he stopped again a few seconds later. 

"Ooh, a pair of bikini briefs!" he exclaimed, while holding up the skimpy item. 

I’d forgotten I had that pair in there.  I planned on wearing them if I ever got lucky enough to get invited out on a date.  Who knows?  Maybe since he's seen them I'll get lucky now. 

“Yeah, I forgot I had that pair in there,” I said, trying to play it down.  “One of my friends gave it to me as a gag gift for my last birthday."

"You'll have to model them for me after you move in," Aiden teased, as he flashed me a wicked grin. 

What?  He wants me to model that almost nonexistent pair of underwear for him too.  Would a straight guy say something like that or is he just making fun of me for having them?  Oh, damn.  I'm so confused. 

Anyway, Aiden helped me carry my things over to his dorm room and we made two trips.  Although that only took care of about half of the things I brought from home, it accounted for nearly all of my clothes and the items I used on a regular basis.  Once I’d unpacked an put everything away, I collapsed on the bed.

“Hey, none of that,” Aiden told me.  “You’ve got to get cleaned up and changed.  I’m taking you out to dinner tonight.  Remember?"

"Oh, yeah.  I almost forget," I admitted, feeling somewhat ashamed that it had slipped my mind. 

"Well, put on something nice, because we're not going to slum it," Aiden warned. 

This pronouncement left me in shock.  Where the hell was he planning on taking me?

I couldn’t believe it when we got there.  Aiden had walked me over to one of the nicest restaurants in town.  I mean, it didn’t require a jacket and tie or anything like that, but for a college town, it was about as good as it gets.  The only restaurants that are nicer than this are out away from the downtown area and you only go there when your parents come to visit.

“You order whatever you want,” Aiden told me.  “Remember, this is my treat, so you don’t have to worry about a thing."

"I can't have you spend so much money on me," I countered, feeling guilty. 

“My folks can afford it and I’m using the credit card they gave me,” Aiden explained.  “If either of them asks why I spent so much on a meal, I’ll just tell them I was on a date, but I doubt they'll even notice."

Wait!  Did Aiden just refer to this as a date or was he just going to use that as an excuse?  Damn, I wish I knew what he meant for sure.  Is Aiden gay or just friendly?  I don’t have enough experience to know for certain which it is.  Fuck, I don’t want to guess wrong and ruin a potential friendship.  I'd like to at least have him as a friend, if it can't be more.

"Hello, is anyone home?" Aiden teased, as he brought me out of my reverie. 

I guess I’d been so completely lost in my thoughts that I didn’t notice he was still talking to me.  Since I didn't respond to something he'd asked, he was now trying to get my attention.

"Sorry.  I was just thinking about something," I explained. 

"I could see that," Aiden teased.  "Do you want to tell me what had you so preoccupied?"

"Ummm, well...." I stammered, since I didn't know how much I should tell him. 

“Nothing you can say will shock me or change my opinion of you,” Aiden assured me.  “I’ll still want to be my friend and roommate."

Well, that certainly did away with most of the pressure I'd been feeling. 

“I was just wondering why you’re willing to do so much for me,” I told him, because I still wasn’t sure how honest I could be with him.  “I mean we just met and all, yet you get me to move in with you and then bring me to a nice place like this to have dinner.  I guess you might say I'm just a little confused."

“The answer is easy.  I treat my friends well,” Aiden answered, “and I consider you my friend now.  I hope you think of me the same way."

"Oh, yes.  I do!" I confirmed, without hesitation. 

I think I might have even blushed when I said it, so I hope it’s dark enough in here that he wasn't able to notice.

"Hmmm.  Does that make us husband and wife now?" he joked, but I didn't get it.

What did I miss?  What was he talking about?  He obviously saw my confusion, so he explained. 

“You said, ‘I do,’ so I was just wondering if that meant we were married now.”  Aiden laughed again.

I wanted to scream out, ‘Hell, yes.  I’ll marry you,’ but of course I didn’t dare.  Yeah, yeah, I know what you’re thinking.  I’ve just met this guy and already I’m willing to commit myself to him and I’m not even sure if he’s gay.  I guess that wouldn’t matter though, if he was actually willing to spend the rest of his life with me.  I suppose I could do without the sex, since I’ve survived this long without it.  I could just take care of my own needs, like I’ve been doing since I reached puberty.  I'd be willing to do that if I could have him close to me every day. 

Yeah, I’ll bet you think that’s bogus, but I really would do it.  I’ve never dreamed anyone like him would ever pay attention to me, let alone want to do more than that. 

“Ground control to Major Tom,” Aiden teased, repeating a line out of one of David Bowie’s classic songs.  "Can you hear me Major Tom?" he went on. 

"Sorry.  My mind keeps wandering," I apologized. 

“Want to share what you’re thinking with me?” Aiden asked, and I immediately began to panic.

What am I going to do?  Well, he has been open with me, so I guess maybe I should take a chance and be honest with him.  Oh, hell.  I don’t know how to react.  On an impulse, I decided to give it a shot. 

"Ok, I've been thinking about you," I confessed, as I watched his reaction. 

"Really?  How nice," he replied while grinning at me.  "Anything in particular?"

"Mostly I'm just wondering why you're being so nice to me," I told him, in all honesty. 

“Let’s see,” he began, in a droll imitation of a college professor.  “Could it be because you’re now my roommate and new best friend?"

"What?" I gasped.  "Your new best friend?  But..."

"I'm willing if your are," he offered, and his smile never faded.

Damn!  This was moving way too fast.

"But why?" I asked, still unable to believe this was actually happening. 

“Look, for some reason I just took an immediate liking to you after we first met,” Aiden explained. 

"You mean whey you saved my ass," I clarified. 

“And a nice one it is too,” he teased, and that really made me wonder, but Aiden continued.  “I’m not sure about all the whys or wherefores as to the reasons I feel this way, but I do.  My hunches about people generally prove to be pretty accurate and I just have this hunch that we’re going to get along very well.  That’s why I’ve concluded you are going to be my new best friend.  You are, aren't you?"

I was totally flabbergasted, to say the least, but I felt I had to respond.

“Uh, yeah.  I’d like that very much,” I managed to get out.  “I’m not sure if I understand any of this either, but I’m certainly not going to say no.  You’ve been nicer to me in the short time I've known you than anyone else has ever been."

“Great!  Then welcome aboard, mate, roomie and new best friend.” Aiden added, as he held his hand out to me.  He was beaming, and I guess I was too. I certainly hoped this worked out the way I wanted.

We finished dinner and then walked back to campus.  We didn’t hold hands or anything like that.  Heck, we didn’t even touch one another, but we did joke around like a couple of guys who had known each other for more than just a couple of days.  We stopped by my old dorm room on the way by and picked up some more of my things.  My old roommate was there this time and wanted to know what was up, so I told him I was moving.  He asked why, so I quickly told him my best friend was going here too and we had decided to room together.  My old roommate looked at the two of us and responded, “That’s cool,” which ended our conversation.

When we got back to OUR room – oh, God, I love how that sounds!  Anyway, I finished unpacking everything we’d brought over on this last trip, and once I’d done that, I sat down on my bed and began the required reading for the next day's classes. 

When Aiden and I finally agreed we were ready to go to sleep, we walked down to the communal bathroom together, used the toilet, brushed our teeth and came back to our room.  Then, we stripped down to our boxer-briefs and climbed in to bed.  I was able to notice that Aiden seemed to have a pretty decent bulge, so I hoped some day I’d get to see it for real.  Damn, I’m getting horny just thinking about it, but I won’t be able to do anything to relieve the problem, at least not with him in the room.  I guess I’ll have to sneak down to the toilet later and take care of business. 

I didn’t get much sleep that night.  My head was just too busy spinning with thoughts about everything that had happened today.  Was I reading him correctly?  Was this really going as well as I thought?  Damn.  I hope I don’t wake up and discover this has all been just a dream.

The next morning I had to get up and go to a class before Aiden did.  He was still asleep, snoring sweetly and lying half uncovered on his bed.  Fortunately, he wasn’t snoring loudly.  It was just sort of a soft, gentle snore that seemed sexy to me.  I think I could get used to hearing it as I drifted off to sleep every night. 

I didn’t see Aiden again until later that evening, because we had totally different schedules.  I found myself having to attend a couple of early morning classes, but that didn’t bother me, because I didn’t have a problem with getting up early.  It did, however, leave me with a long break between those classes and the afternoon classes I had also been placed in, so I tried to use the time in between to study. 

Aiden was luckier when it came to his schedule.  His earliest class didn’t start until a couple of hours after my first class, but then his other classes came fairly close together after that.  In fact, he often finished his last class before I did, even though my classes had started earlier than any of his.

It was now Thursday and we’d already attended each of our classes at least once, be we still had one more day of classes before the weekend.  It meant we’d have one more psych class together and then it would be the weekend.  I can’t wait for it to get here, because it means Aiden and I will have a whole lot of time to get to know each other better.

That evening we chose to eat on campus, at the dining hall.  It was a big let down from the night before, but hell – we knew we wouldn’t be able to do that every night.  We’re college students, so we'll be lucky if we can go out to eat even once or twice a month. 

After going back to our room, we basically just hit the books for the rest of the evening.  We had quite a bit of reading to finish before attending our next round of classes and I had some questions to answer for another course I was taking.  Since I get up earlier than Aiden, I also turn in before him.  It’s not the way I wanted this to work out, but I do need to get enough rest so I won't fall asleep in any of my classes. 

That afternoon, Aiden sat next to me in psychology again and we paid close attention as Dr. Swift lectured.  I was getting confused by all the different terms he was using, so I just wrote each of them down and figured I’d have to look them up later.  This is probably going to be the toughest of all my courses, because I haven’t heard of most of this stuff before.  I think I’ll do well in English Comp, Biology and Math, but I’m also a little worried about Spanish 101 too.  My high school wasn’t noted for its language department, so I don’t have a very good background to help me deal with that class either. 

After psych, I went to my next class and then had to go to my lab after that.  When the lab finished, I went back to the dorm and found Aiden waiting for me.  Since classes are over for the week, we both breathed a sigh of relief.  The weekend is now ours to enjoy. 

Aiden and I had dinner at the dining hall again that evening, and as we ate we discussed how our classes were going.  During this time, I admitted to Aiden that I was confused by all the new terminology I was encountering in our psychology class.

“Peter, I told you not to worry about that,” Aiden told me.  “I’ll help you with it this weekend and you'll do fine.

Aiden seemed so sure of himself that it also gave me some confidence that I could do this too and I quit worrying about it further.  I just hoped this wasn't a false sense of security. 

When we got back to our room, I sat on my bed and leaned back against the cinderblock wall.  I had my psych book in hand and began looking up all the terms I had written down while taking notes in class.  Before long, Aiden came over and sat on the bed next to me. 

“Here, let me help you with that,” he stated, as he made himself comfortable.  “What is it you're having trouble with?"

I showed him the list I’d made, which contained the branches of psychology and the various other terms I didn’t understand.  One by one, Aiden started to go through the terms on my list and explained each one to me in a way I could understand and relate to.  It wasn’t just the clinical definition of the term, such as what I’d found when I looked it up in the text, but he offered me a layman’s understanding of what the term meant and how it fit in to the general scheme of things. 

"Damn!  How do you know all of this stuff?" I asked, amazed. 

I thought he had a very deep understanding of the subject, especially since he was only a college freshman.

“Hey, I told you my dad’s a psychologist and he’s been drumming this material into my brain starting with my earliest memories.  Whenever I would ask him why this person did this or why something happened the way it did, he would sit me down and explain it in psychological terms, but at levels I could understand at that age.  As I grew older, his explanations became more and more complex, until I now understand it well enough to be able to do the same thing for you."

"Wow!  I would never have understood any of this without your help," I told him gratefully. 

“Yes, you would have,” he countered.  “You could have asked for a tutor and that person would have given you a similar explanation and cleared it up for you as well."

“I’d rather just keep you, than take my chances with an unknown commodity such as a tutor,” I replied.

Aiden merely smiled and then winked at me.  Hmmm.  Did that have a special meaning all its own?  I guess I can only hope that’s the case.  Anyway, we kept going through the list, and we'd completed about a third of it when Aiden suddenly stopped. 

“Hell, if I’m going to sit here all night and help you with this, then I need to get a drink and make myself comfortable," he informed me.  "Do you want a coke or something?"

"yes, that would be nice," I agreed. 

I then watched as Aiden went over to the small fridge he’d had in the room before I moved in.  He reached inside, pulled out two cans of Coke and then came back and handed me one.

"That's step one," he announced, "and now for step two, which is getting comfortable."

Having said this, Aiden stripped down to his boxer-briefs and tee shirt.  He then came back and sat beside me on the bed again. 

“You might as well get comfortable too,” he suggested.  “I have a feeling this is going to take some time."

I didn’t dare to strip down like he did, for fear I’d sprout wood, but he was insistent.  He reached over and took the Coke can from me, so I could do the same thing he had done.  Reluctantly, I took off my clothes too and then sat on the bed again, but I quickly put my book over the bulge in my underwear. 

"See!  Now isn't that better?" he asked. 

I merely nodded.  What else could I do?

He sat with me and spent more than an hour going through every item on my long list.  We finished our Cokes long before we got to the bottom of the list, so we also had to run to the bathroom to take a piss before we were done.  After we did that, we got comfortable again and picked up where we'd left off.

After we’d covered each item, I thanked Aiden for his help and then began studying my Spanish vocabulary.  He stayed beside me and watched what I was doing, but before long, I felt him leaning against me.  Confused, I looked over to see what he was up to, only to discover that Aiden had fallen asleep.  Before long, he had his head on my shoulder and was snoring gently into my ear.

Damn, I didn’t want to move and wake him, so I figured I’d let him stay that way until he awoke.  Suddenly, I realized I was getting tired too, but I tried to fight it.  The last thing I wanted to do was to wake him and ruin the warm connection I was enjoying with him.  A short time later though, I lost my battle and fell asleep leaning against him, with my head resting against the top of his. 

I’m not sure what time it was when I awoke, but I knew I had to pee and there was no putting it off.  Carefully, I lowered Aiden down, so his head was resting on my pillow, and then I hustled down the hallway to the toilet.  When I’d finished, I returned to the room, but I wasn’t sure what to do next.  Should I wake him and have him move to his own bed?  Maybe I should just let him sleep there and I’ll sleep in his bed.  Then I thought, well he is in my bed and got there voluntarily, so I put his legs up under the sheet, so he was no longer in an ‘L’ position and then crawled in beside him.  It was kind of a tight squeeze, because I didn’t have a large bed, but then I spooned back against him, pulled the sheet over us, and fell asleep.