Feeling Comfortable in My Own Skin

Leaving Paradise

The next morning we awoke and made our way around the house to see who had ended up where.  Eventually, we found Blake and his girlfriend, but they obviously hadn’t had the same great time Aiden and I had.  Blake informed us later that his girlfriend was very cold to him after they arrived, because she said she was pissed about the way he had acted at her friend’s party.  Blake said he tried to explain to her that he attempted to enjoy himself there and he ate, danced and chatted with her friends, but he just wasn’t having any fun.  Once she heard him say this, Blake said she seemed equally determined to make certain they weren’t going to have any fun at Gavin’s party either. 

Frustrated by the way she was acting, Blake finally decided to drive her home.  After getting Gavin to give him back his car keys, he drove his girlfriend to her house, but before she got out, he told her they were through.  From what Blake told us about what happened next, breaking up with her seemed to be the last thing she was expecting.  It seems she thought he’d apologize for ruining her evening and beg her forgiveness, but Blake wasn’t about to do that.  He felt she had ruined the entire evening by making him attend that lame ass party to begin with and then by acting like a miserable bitch once they got to Gavin’s house.  Blake then informed us this wasn’t the first time she had done something like that either, but he insisted it was definitely the last time. 

Blake then explained that she tried to get him to change his mind and was crying as she tried to talk him into changing his mind.  After he finally got her out of the car, she even began to chase after him as he drove away.  Blake admitted that when he looked in his rearview mirror and saw her running behind the car he began to laugh.  That’s when he also decided to stick his arm out the window, give her the finger and then wave good-bye, just before he stepped on the gas.  I guess she learned the hard way that playing the role of the bitch doesn't pay. 

A little while later, Blake jokingly told us that maybe he should start looking for a boyfriend, instead of another girlfriend.  He reasoned that he could understand other guys much better than he could girls, and since we looked so happy together, he thought maybe it might be the way to go. 

We knew he was only joking and didn’t mean what he’d just said.  He was only frustrated because he’s been having a rough time trying to figure out what his girlfriend wanted, no matter how hard he tried.  It just seemed that no matter what he did or how much he gave in, she wasn’t satisfied and there was just nothing stimulating or enjoyable going on that would make him want to be there. 

Blake explained that he had danced with his girlfriend, even though he hated the music they were playing, and he also tried to chat with her friends, although they only wanted to talk about stupid bullshit.  He said he even ate some of the snacks and drank some of the beverages, although they only had a vegetable tray, chips, dip, pretzels, punch and soda.  He informed us that he’d attended more stimulating parties in middle school, so that particular soiree was definitely a let down. 

Blake insisted he had compromised when they first made plans for New Year’s Eve, but that wasn’t enough for her.  He came to the conclusion that she never wanted to come to Gavin’s with him in the first place, even though she had agreed to do so.  He said he felt that once they got to her friend’s house, she thought she could convince him to just stay there and forget about Gavin’s party, so she was upset when that didn’t happen.  I’m sure glad I don’t have to deal with that kind of crap. 

Anyway, the three of us decided it was time to return to the Perry household, but we didn’t leave until we’d helped Gavin clean up his place first.  We began this process by picking up all the empty cups, paper plates and napkins and throwing them in the trash.  Then, we ran the vacuum over the carpets and swept the other floors, as Gavin made sure everything was the way it should be.  We wanted to make certain there was nothing that would attract his parents’ attention or indicate we’d held a party.  When we thought everything was presentable, we told Gavin we’d see him again later and then took off. 

Aiden’s mother greeted us warmly when we arrived and then fixed us a huge breakfast.  I hated to see her go to all that trouble, but it was delicious.  After stuffing ourselves, we went into the living room to relax and ended up watching the parades with his parents for a while.  When the parades ended, the football games came on, so we stayed and watched them with his father.  Aiden’s mother wasn’t interested in watching football with us, so she went off to do other things.  She was very good about it though and even brought us something to eat later, while the games were going on. 

I imagine you’ve guessed that I’m really not much of a sports fan either, but watching the games with Aiden, Blake and their dad was actually fun.  Aiden took time to explain things to me whenever he thought I didn’t understand what was going on, and we usually rooted for the team that was playing against the one his brother and father wanted to win.  Over the course of the day we had lots of chances to rag on each other, especially when the other team made a mistake, and I was beginning to actually enjoy what we were doing.  It also made me realize what it might have been like for me if I’d had three brothers instead of three sisters.  Hell, even if I just had one brother, instead of being surround by all those girls, things would definitely have been different. 

After the games ended, we went up to Aiden’s room.  Now that we were alone, he asked me if I was all right with what we’d done today and the night before.  Damn!  Aiden actually cares if I’m enjoying myself.  He also wanted to make certain I was ok with the sex we’d had too, since he’d originally promised to go slowly and not rush me into anything.  I decided I had to make certain he understood how much I’d liked it, so I emphatically informed him that not only had I enjoyed it, but I also couldn't wait to do it again. 

“Oh, no.  I am Dr. Frankenstein and I’ve just created my second monster,” Aiden joked.  “The first when I taught him karate, which he used to beat up a mugger, and now with the sex.  I just hope he isn’t going to run out and start ravaging all the young boys in my neighborhood.  Where’s Blake?  I must protect him and defend his honor."

I was laughing hysterically as Aiden gave his overly dramatic speech, but then he ran out of the room and disappeared for a minute.  When he came back, he was dragging Blake along with him, but Blake wasn’t sure what to think about what was going on.  He kept glancing between Aiden and me expectantly, hoping that one of us would fill him in, when Aiden began to speak. 

“Blake, my dear brother,” he began, while giving Blake a look of mock horror.  Hearing Aiden speaking in this manner caused Blake to look at his brother as if he had just lost his mind. 

“I must protect you from this sex fiend,” Aiden continued.  “I inadvertently created a monster last night, when I showed Peter the joy that love and sex can bring.  Now, I’m afraid he’s insatiable and I’m deeply concerned that he might go after you next.”  Blake began to laugh and then turned toward me and spoke. 

“Good for you, Peter, and I’m glad someone had fun last night,” he sneered and made a face.  “Too bad I wasn’t as lucky, so I may even be willing to let you help me out in that area later, if that’s what you want to do.”  After saying this, Blake walked over and sat next to me on Adam's bed. 

“Peter, is my brother just being a jerk and joking around, or is it true that you’d never done anything sexual before last night?” he asked, looking at me oddly. 

I was almost too ashamed to admit the truth to him.  Now, I had to work up the courage to tell him that I’d basically been a total virgin up until then, except for self-gratification and swapping hand jobs with Aiden. 

“Ummm, I had never done more than to jerk myself or another guy off before last night, and then I’d only done that with your brother too,” I mumbled, but I also knew I was blushing.  “I’ve never done anything more than that until last night." 

“Damn.  I guess you did finally find out what you’ve been missing then,” Blake teased, before he noticed the concerned expression on my face. 

“Hey, don’t worry about it.  I’m not going to tell anyone.  I’m just glad you seem happy being with my dorky brother,” he added, while jerking his head in Aiden's direction. 

Blake stayed in the room with us a little while longer, so he could tell me about what his first time was like.  I guess he felt this would make us even and allow me to compare notes, to see if my experience measured up.  I appreciated his thoughtfulness by doing this and that he would share such personal information with me. 

Although Blake was being serious at the moment, he can be really funny too and I’m definitely glad he’s Aiden’s brother.  I’m hoping I’ll get to see him a lot more in the future and that I’ll have plenty of opportunities to visit here again.  I have a feeling we’re going to become really great friends, as well as brothers. 

After Blake went back to his room, Aiden changed back to being serious again.  He came over to the bed, wrapped his arms around me and then began to shower me with his love and affection.  He also took me back to those heights of sexual bliss that I previously thought were unattainable.  I only wish there were words eloquent enough to describe the way he made me feel, but all I can say is Aiden was the artist and I was the canvas on which he created another wonderful masterpiece. 

I tried, rather awkwardly and clumsily to return the favor again, but Aiden insisted I’d done a good job and he was satisfied.  I think I did a little better than on my first try, but there is definitely a lot of room for improvement.  Even though Aiden assured me it was great and he really enjoyed it, I could tell he was only trying to make me feel good, but I did appreciate the fact that he was willing to do this for me too.  I guess I’ll just have to spend as much time practicing these skills, as I have done with the karate.  Man, I’m beginning to love a good workout. 

I stayed with Aiden and his family for another week, until it was time for us to return to the University for our second semester.  During this time, I got to know both of his parents even better and was really impressed by their attitude toward Aiden’s and my relationship.  They didn’t react negatively or appear bothered if Aiden kissed me or gave me a hug in their presence.  In fact, I even caught them smiling a couple of times and acting as if they thought it was sweet.  Never in my wildest dreams did I ever expect I’d feel comfortable doing these types of things in front of them. 

They also invited Gavin to join us for dinner one evening and Gavin’s parents invited Blake, Aiden and I to have dinner with them on another occasion.  I was just so amazed by how wonderful all of these people were being to me and how none of them treated either Aiden or I any differently than they did Gavin or Blake. 

The four of us guys also spent time together when Blake wasn’t at school, but Gavin would sometimes also join Aiden and me before Blake returned home.  Gavin and Aiden were eager to show me around the area and happily pointed out a few of the hangouts they’d frequented while they were in high school.  They also introduced me to a bunch of their other friends, whenever we ran into them while we were out and about.  I was totally amazed that no one acted shocked or upset when Aiden introduced me as his boyfriend, so I guess maybe I’m not the first – but I am definitely going to make sure I’m the last. 

Even though we all had fake ID’s, we still couldn’t go to a bar and drink while I was there, because too many of the locals know Gavin and Aiden are underage.  Therefore, we’d have a beer or two in one family room or the other, since their parents didn’t seem to mind if we did this, as long as we didn't overindulge. 

While his parents were at work, Aiden and I would spend the day just enjoying each other’s company, until either Gavin came over or Blake returned from school.  One night after Blake came home, he was eager to fill us in about the drama surrounding how his old girlfriend keeps begging him to get back together with her.  I knew she’s been calling the house at night and on the weekends in an effort to get him to change his mind, but I guess she does even more of this at school.  She has even enlisted some of her friends to bug him about this as well.  Even though he keeps telling her it will never happen, she won’t give up and keeps pestering him, so he asked if any of us had an idea about what he should do to convince her that they were never going to get back together. 

I was the first to offer my opinion and I told him as honestly as I could that she might only admit defeat if she saw him with another girl.  Blake acknowledged that might work, but he wasn’t sure if he wanted to settle down with just one girl again.  He said he thought it might be wiser for him to play the field for awhile, but he was afraid that if he did this and she kept seeing him going with a different girl every time, then it might just encourage her to keep trying to get him back. 

Gavin then suggested maybe Blake should do something mean to her or one of her best friends.  He figured if she hated Blake for what he did to one of them, then she would be less likely to want to go out with him again.  Although Blake thought this would probably work too, he didn’t want to do anything that would give him a bad reputation at school.  He was afraid that if word about what he did to get rid of her began to spread, it would give the other girls a reason to turn him down.  At the very least, it would most definitely limit any other possibilities he might otherwise have. 

Aiden joked around and advised his brother to just tell her he was gay and not interested in yucky females.  Although the rest of us thought his suggestion was humorous, we also knew it wasn’t an option Blake could use.  If word got out that he was gay, then none of the other girls would want to date him either.  Therefore, we kept putting our heads together and trying to come up with something that would be effective, without hurting Blake’s future chances or making him look bad. 

“Couldn’t you just hook her up with one of your friends?” Gavin asked. 

“Hell, no!” Blake answered, without hesitation.  “I wouldn’t wish her on anyone I liked.  She’s a bitch and any friend I talked into dating her would only end up hating me." 

“Then hook her up with an enemy,” Gavin suggested next.  “You must know some decent looking guy that you don’t get along with.  What better way to get even with both of them than hooking them up with each other?" 

“Now that’s a interesting possibility,” Blake agreed.  “I’ll have to start looking around so I can figure out who I hate enough to do that to.  Then all I’ll have to do is find a way to get them together.  Maybe I can convince a third-party to introduce them, so I’m completely out of the picture." 

This seemed like a logical solution and one that might work, so now we just had to sit back and see if Blake could work out the details to make it happen.  It had the added benefit of killing two birds with one stone, so what could be better? 

Before we returned to campus, Aiden and I also received our grades.  Although I was a little anxious about finding out how I’d done, it turned out that I didn’t need to be.  Each of us had done quite well, but of course Aiden had done better than I did.  It didn’t matter to me though because I was more than satisfied with my grades and so were my parents. 

We received our grades via email, since all incoming freshmen are given an institutional email address during orientation.  Once I’d seen my grades, I forward a copy to my parents, so they could see them too.  My father doesn’t typically use the computer at home, but my mother checks her email account fairly regularly, so I called to let her know I was sending her an email. 

She asked me to stay on the phone while she opened her email account, because she wanted to be certain it had arrived and everything was all right.  Once she read it, she told me both my father and she were very pleased with how well I’d done and that they were also extremely proud of me as their son.  I didn’t realize it before that moment, but my dad was sitting beside my mother when she opened the email, so he read my grades and had seen them at the same time she did.  When he saw how well I’d done, I heard him ask her to tell me how proud he was too. 

Hearing their reaction really helped a lot and it made me feel even better about everything that had happened since I’d started college.  My father, in particular, had never been one to show his feelings, like telling me he was proud of something I’d done or that he loved me, so this was a nice change.  Usually, he just kind of implied those things when he would call me son, but hearing him say this now made me wonder why he couldn’t have done things like this when I was in high school. 

When it came time for us to leave, Aiden’s parents drove us to the airport to catch our flight back to campus.  Aiden’s mother hugged and kissed both of us before we went off to board the plane, and Aiden’s father made sure he gave us each a hug as well.  This was really different for me, because my father had never given me a hug, at least not that I could ever remember, but I enjoyed it.  After spending this time with them, I think I was finally starting to understand why Aiden and his brother were so open, honest and confident about whom they are.  It comes from the way they were raised. 

Where Aiden and his brother have always known they were accepted for whom they are and showered with love and affection, my parents were more aloof.  Although my mother showed me love, my father was always more reserved and stuck to the manly stereotypes.  Although he was affectionate with my sisters, I would only receive a handshake or a pat on the back if he approved of what I’d done, but nothing more demonstrative than that.  This meant I not only had to overcome what I learned at home, but I also had to deal with the stereotypical hang-ups that had been engrained into me by my peers, and even some of my teachers, especially when it came to the different gender expectations.  If only I could go back and do it all over again, especially knowing what I do now. 

Aiden and I had a lot to talk about on the flight back.  He constantly questioned me as to what I’d thought about his parents, his brother, Gavin and Gavin’s parents.  He also wanted to know my reaction to the area where they lived, as well as my perception of everyone else I’d met.  I was really positive about all of it, because I couldn’t remember anything I hadn’t enjoyed.  I’m not sure if it was because I was happy being with Aiden and this made everything else seem wonderful too, or if it all was as truly great as I’d imagined.  Even though Aiden may have been partially responsible for my favorable outlook, I’m still fairly positive I will feel the same way about all of this in the future. 

When the plane touched down, I opted to follow Aiden once we disembarked.   He was used to doing this and had a much better idea about where he was going and what we had to do next.  After we collected our luggage, I followed him outside, were we hopped in the shuttle that would take us from the airport to the campus.  It dropped us off at a central point, near the Student Union Building, so we had to walk the rest of the way back to the dorm.  When we got to our room a short time later, it seemed really nice to be back again.  Even though we had been able to share Aiden’s room while we were at his parents’ house, somehow this felt different.  This was OUR room and where we had first become a couple. 

Even though Aiden never put any restriction on what I could do or touch in his room, it was still HIS room.  It was where he grew up and memories of his earlier life were scattered throughout.  I always felt welcomed there and we made out a lot in his bedroom, but it just wasn’t the same.  Actually, I was a little surprised that his parents didn’t have a problem with us staying together in Aiden’s bedroom, since they also had a guest room.  They must have at least suspected that we’d be having sex, knowing we were boyfriends, but maybe they just figured we were doing it at school anyway, so there was really no sense in trying to limit us there. 

Now that we were back on campus, I feel as if we are now finally home.  This is our room and that is our bed – even if it is actually two beds shoved together, and I am alone with my lover – if being in a dorm with hundreds of others around is really being alone.  What it boiled down to is that this is our world, at least for the next few months, and I will be spending every night wrapped up in my lover’s embrace.