Jared and Liam were on night shift and working together for a change. It was not unusual for the two of them to be working with other partners now, especially since Jared was the Base Training Officer. Jared's cell phone rang, and the caller ID showed it was Mark. Jared answered it immediately... then his face went blank. Then he began to smile as an excited voice on the phone could be overheard by Liam.
"Where are you guys?…… How bad are they Mark?…… Mark… Mark… Mark… MARK… We'll be right there."
Liam looked at Jared as he released a big sigh. "It was bound to happen at some point I suppose."
"What? What was bound to happen, Jared?"
Jared smiled, "Well, it's Friday night and what do we deal with a lot on a Friday night?"
Liam didn't take long to answer, "Intoxicated people? You're not telling me…"
"Yes, it was bound to happen. Our little brothers went out together…"
Liam started laughing, "Is this going to be Patrick's and Conner's first bed spins?"
"I think it just might be, but they're all at The Lost Lagoon and need a ride home."
"What about a taxi?"
"Just drive, let's go check on our little brothers."
"So no one checked their ID? Two of them are underage for this province," Liam observed.
"Liam, did that ever stop you?"
"I never did anything like this Jared; I was a good boy," replied Liam with an angelic look on his face. Jared just stared back at him, with a very unconvinced look. "Ok, maybe once or twice that I can recall Jared, but no more than nine or ten."
Jared shook his head with a smile. "I'm thankful you grew out of it."
Liam smirked, "Mostly. Have to wait for the right opportunity."
Ten minutes later, the ambulance pulled up near The Lost Lagoon. Mark and Adam were waving frantically and trying to get their attention in very poorly balanced and exaggerated movements. Conner, Mark, Nikita, Trevor, Adam, and Patrick were all leaning against each other for support. As they pulled up, Nikita's legs buckled, crashing onto his butt flat on the pavement. Trevor tried to help him up but did a face plant into the shrubbery along the sidewalk.
Liam was laughing as Jared was shaking his head. "This is the first time anyone in the family has drank this much," said Liam. "But, like you said, it was bound to happen."
"You do realize getting six of them into the unit is going to be like herding cats?" Jared said in deep thought.
Liam roared in laughter at the reference before asking, "Where are we going to take them?"
"I hadn't thought of that yet. But I think the village rec centre is the best idea. If they need cleaning up we have the showers."
"Who's in the village tonight to help us once we get there?"
"Jesse, Zane, and maybe Troy," replied Jared after a few seconds.
The unit pulled up to the curb, parked. Jared got out, walked over to the group and stared at them.
Conner tried to focus his eyes on the person standing there, suddenly succeeding. "Oh fuck, quiet everyone, it's Jared. Maybe he won't see us if we don't move and we're quiet."
"How did he know we're here?" asked Mark in barely understandable English.
"You phoned him, didn't you?" asked Conner.
"I don't know? Did I?"
"I'll be Patrick the ninja!" as the young man tried to hide behind a light post. "Psst, Conner, don't tell him where I am."
A young Russian accent was heard, "No worries P…P…P…acherate, I'll protect you from that Cossack."
Trevor was holding onto him, "Isn't a Cossack a Russian sausage?"
"Is it? I thought cock was Russian sausage?"
Trevor was sliding to ground as he said, "I want Russian sausage Nakiiiiita."
Conner looked up and saw Liam standing near them. "What'cha doooooing, Liam?"
Liam put his hands on his hips and stood there staring at Conner. "Have you been drinking?"
Conner stood up slowly, unsteadily and yet cautiously. Finally, he was standing straight although wobbly, and replied, "I had two beers," as he bent over slightly while sticking his hand out slowly with two fingers up to emphasize his point as the truth.
Liam stood there and stared at him. "Two?"
Conner reached further with his hand showing two fingers, then he grabbed one and the other as he counted aloud. "One… two… That's all!"
Conner turned to Trevor, "Was I drinking beer?"
Trevor looked at Conner, "Who are you again?" and then started laughing.
Conner leaned forward towards Trevor with his hand showing two fingers, "I told that guy over there I only had two beers."
Trevor was lying on his back and thought for a moment before answering, "You had a couple of things, I think. Beers and something about fucking on sand."
Conner stood up, "I forgot about those and it's not fucking on the sand, you dip shit. It was sex on the beach."
Patrick spoke up loudly, "Adam once blew me on the beach and sand…"
Nakita lifted his head, "Who wants sex on a beach?" He raised both arms up as he said, "I do."
Trevor raised his arms up and yelled back at Nakita "I do too. I want sex anywhere."
Conner was leaning forward very unsteadily on his feet, staring at Liam who was holding his phone up. "What'cha doooooing, Liam?"
"Filming you guys, for blackmail in the future."
Adam was sitting on a bench nearby, sound asleep. He was seated as anyone else would be if they were using the bench; but his head hung backwards, mouth wide open, and snoring loudly.
"Hey guys," Nikita yelled. "Listen for it… listen for it… wait, wait, wait… who has lighter?" The young man had rolled over onto his hands and knees on the concrete, "Hurry, can't hold it much longer." He lowered his head to the ground, leaving his ass stuck in the air.
Jared looked at Liam, "Are we going to allow them to have an open flame? They might explode."
Patrick stumbled over to Nikita, and after a few tries, managed to light his lighter. "Go Nic, go for it."
Nikita let a long, powerful and obviously pushed fart go. As soon as it hit the open flame, the methane and H2S gas ignited into a long blue flame. This, of course, is why many people call it the Blue Angel. Patrick held the lighter too long next to Nikita's pants, and Nikita felt the heat on his ass.
"Stop! You lit my ass on fire," he said as he turned over and dragged his butt along the sidewalk.
Patrick was giggling, "I think that fart was wet, Nicky."
"Was not. I don't need dia-dia-dia… what the fuck are they in English?"
"Diapers," mumbled Mark.
"Why you dragging your ass on the sidewalk like a dog on a carpet with worms if you didn't shit yourself?" asked Patrick.
"Because you lit my ass on fire."
"Oh, right. Sorry, buddy."
"Liam, Liam, Liam, Liam, Liam, Liam, Liam, Liam, Liam," repeated Mark.
Mark looked at him for a moment and then said, "I forget."
Jared leaned over to him, "These are your kids…"
"Liam, Liam, Liam, Liam, Liam, Liam, Liam, Liam, Liam," Mark rambled again.
"I forget." A moment later he says, "No wait… I remember."
"Can you get us home before Jared and my dad find out?"
Just then a police car pulled up behind the ambulance.
"Hey, hey – there's pol-icccemaaaaahhhn here, hide or you go to Siberian gulag. Putin will bust you," a young Russian voice called out.
Adam hadn't moved an inch on the park bench except now his head hung forward and was drooling uncontrollably. Conner was trying to drag Mark behind the bench to hide but was fighting against Patrick who was trying to pull him behind the light post.
Frank walked up and stood beside Jared and Liam. "Which one of them had this bright idea?"
Jared was smiling, "We still haven't figured that out."
"Do you want a copy of this video Frank," asked Liam.
"Damn right I do."
"Frank," stared Jared, "Three of these are yours."
"No no no no no… This is your tribe, Jared. This is all you," Frank replied.
Liam started laughing, "You better figure it out quick, guys. Nikita and Trevor are feeding each other the petunias."
Mark was laying on his back now, eyes closed. "I'm so dead if Dad finds out."
Conner stumbled over, "We won't tell him or Jared what happened." He then puked all over his boyfriend.
"Mark, you got poutine and burger all over you now," said Trevor, then promptly vomited down the front of himself.
"Three of them are yours, Frank," said Jared beginning to laugh.
"Should we throw them in the drunk tank overnight?" Frank considered aloud.
"We can't do that to them Frank, regardless of how tempting it is," replied Jared.
"I know we can't, but it would be funny, wouldn't it, Jared?"
They looked at the six young men for a long moment.
Jared slapped Liam in the back of the head. "Get your kids in the ambulance and wrap Mark and Trevor in a blanket so they don't get puke all over."
"My kids? They call you dad and Frank is the actual dad for the three of them. Why are you making your cute, young husband do the dirty work?" whined Liam.
Frank and Jared both gave Liam 'the look'.
Liam walked over to the group crawling on the ground. "Hey guys, Jared's coming and he really mad. Get in the back of the ambulance and hide on the stretchers until he's gone."
Frank and Jared started laughing as the group started to move towards the ambulance. Patrick was pulling Conner backwards by the foot while Mark was just crawling on his hands and knees.
Liam moved over to Adam and applied a sternal rub. "Son-of-a…" the young man started to say.
"Adam, get in the ambulance quick, Jared is coming and he's furious."
"Oh fuck," he said as he hobbled forward, sideways, backwards and then forward again. Frank and Jared closed their eyes as Adam walked into the side of the unit with a loud thump and then fell backwards.
Nikita yelled over, "Adam, hurry Adam before Jared gets here. Where's my boyfriend?"
"Over here!" Trevor called. "Help me."
Liam looked over and the young man was in the shrubbery with his pants down around his ankles. "I needed to pithhhhhh."
Liam walked over, grabbed him by the scruff of the neck, and dragged him back to the open doors of the ambulance. "I love bunny hugs. They make it so easy to carry drunks." Liam started to toss the rest into the back, stacking them like cordwood in the back, and then slammed the doors.
"I got them in, you guys need to get them out and clean the mess in the back," said Liam and he wiped his hands on his pants. "Let's get them to the Village before they all start puking."
"I just had a thought, Liam," started Jared. "We can back up to the boathouse and drag them into the shower area pretty quick and either turn on the showers or the hoses. We can clean the ambulance there too, and then leave them all with Jesse and Zane."
Liam smiled, "I like that idea." But Jared noticed Liam's smile didn't reach his eyes.
Jesse and Zane were standing at the boathouse as Liam backed up to the building. They carried the young men in, stripped them of all their vomit-smeared clothing, and dragged them into the group shower area. Zane had turned up the heat and grabbed a few blankets to spread over top of them. The little brothers were all naked, hugging each other, and wedged in the corner of the gang shower. Jesse chuckled and said they reminded him of puppies or ferrets the way they all piled together.
Liam had finished cleaning the ambulance with Jared when Jesse came running over with an idea. Jared was almost scared when he looked at Jesse who had an evil smirk on his face.
Patrick was the first to stir a few hours later. He slowly got up and started moving along the wall towards the toilet. He finally got to the toilet and reached for his cock. It didn't feel right, so he looked… and screamed. All his prized pubic hair was missing. To add insult to injury, his cock and balls had been dyed and painted blue. After Patrick's screams, the rest had woken up and started screaming as well. Every one of them were missing their pubic hair, and their cocks had each been painted a different colour of the rainbow. It was then they realized something else. Across each of their foreheads, a message was written in black marker. "I was drunk last night."
It was noon when the little brothers had all finally woke up. They had found coveralls to wear after showering with the group heading to the rec building in search of food. Nikita and Trevor were astounded at the buildings and the equipment within them. Jesse, Zane, and Grandfather were waiting for them with both food as well as a traditional hangover cure. Grandfather had made a slimy mould-green coloured smoothie filled with berries, herbs, oils and an egg. The dramatics the little brothers displayed while forcing it down kept the three men laughing the entire time. But, it worked and it both settled the stomachs as well as clearing the heads of everyone. The little brothers all felt great after eating until it was payback time. Jesse led them out to a woodpile which needed to be split and stacked before supper. They were about to complain when they got the look from Grandfather and one simple sentence. "You play like adults, you work like adults."
The wood pile was done and stacked during the rest of the afternoon. Trevor and Nakita had never split wood before so the rest showed them the best ways to do it.
Jared and Jesse watched from upstairs as the young men did their chore and were very interested to watch the interpersonal dynamics between them all.
"Are we looking at two new brothers in Nakita and Trevor?" asked Jesse.
Jared exhaled and then spoke, "There is always room for those that need us."
Jesse put his arm over Jared's shoulder, "Jared, what's wrong?"
The young man continued watching the little brothers work. "Jesse, for the first time in my life, I can't see or sense what the problem is."
"Well, you have the family backing you and ready to stand with you whatever the problem is."
"I know and appreciate that, Jess."
"It's really unnerving you, isn't it?"
"Is that the lawyer or the cougar talking?"
Jared turned to look at Jesse, "Would you come upstairs to smudge with me?"
Jesse was surprised, actually shocked at what Jared had just said. The cougar side of Jesse smelled nervousness, apprehension, and even fear radiating from Jared. Two of those scents he had never smelled from Jared before. Never had Jared asked anyone in that manner before. Jared always phrased it as an equal, or as a companion but never as a request with this insecure tone.
"Jared, I would smudge with you anytime, my brother." He reached out and pulled Jared in for a hug. Jared resisted at first, something else he had never done before, then returned the hug. They separated a moment later.
"Thank you Jesse, I needed that more than I realized."
"Jared, you are not walking your path alone. You have your tribe, your family, and your husband with you at all times."
Jared flinched a bit when Jesse said husband, and that didn't go unnoticed by Jesse.
The two men took one look at the little brothers, who were competing to see who could stack the split wood end on end the highest without it falling over.
Jared smiled as he watched them having fun. Finally, he said, "Life was so simple…."
"It still is, brother. Let's go smudge and meditate together. I think a trip to the middle world would do us both good."
Jesse put his arm around Jared's shoulders again and led him upstairs to the smudging room.
Short stories I have written: