It was, after that meeting, pretty much a done deal for Nick and I. Other supernatural kids, roughly our age, with magic and fighting skills, and gay like us, too. It was almost too good to be true. And everyone accepted them, like it was the natural order. And Joey-rhya respected them, almost revered them. Plus they could do that awesome super Sayian thing that was just so wild! If we could learn stuff from them, then we both sure wanted to. Even if it wasn’t going to happen, then at least we could learn how to fight.
You might say we were impressed.
On the way back to the caern, the long walk back across the Route 1A bridge between Newburyport and Salisbury Beach Center, Joey was in his typical introspective silence. Not me and Nick, however. We were too hyped up about getting to learn to fight like the changelings. That and that apple flavored wine stuff had me feeling a little bit loopy. We were bouncing off each other in wolf form, roughhousing as we went, just being total goof-balls. It made the trip that much faster for us. Besides, walking as a wolf, you don’t get tired. That canine endurance just kicks in.
When we got back to the bath house at the beach, Joey broke the silence without saying anything. Weird, but he just has a way of doing that. I guess that’s why his tribe are called Silent Striders. The beach bath house at this end of the beach, where the river and the ocean met, was a spot called Black Rock Jetty. It’s a long chain of granite boulders that tumble out into the Atlantic, marking the mouth of the Merrimack River. And this finger of tumbled rocks served two other purposes. It marked off the swimming area from the navigation area, and it was ideal spot to set up a channel marker beacon. At least in the physical realm it was. In the Umbra, we clever werewolves used the spindly looking metal frame tower as a watch post. You can see for miles from the top of the tower. Mostly it views ocean, but it’s a great way to make sure nasty wyrm things don’t sneak up on you.
Joey-rhya put out a hand and caught Nick by the shoulder. It, of course, immediately stopped our yipping and barking. Joey simply nodded out towards the beacon light, shining a liquidy red in the dark night sky way out to the point of the jetty. Uh oh, I thought, recognizing the serious look in Joey’s eyes. He nodded out towards the light.
“Now?” Nick whined. Joey’s reply was a subtle head twist. It was pretty much his way of silently emphasizing his order. Joey was sending Nick out to the warder on duty at the tower, to let him know that we had returned to the caern. Which was kind of redundant with all the noise we’d been making on the return, but it was also protocol. And with Nick and me on restriction, so to speak, it was considered not only polite but necessary to tell the tribe’s adults when the bouncy beach brats were home.
Besides, the caern warder was a huge Jamaican dude named Sebastian. He and Nick got along famously. Must be that ragabash connection between them. But the possibility of trading new and colorful insults with the dreadlocked ‘Bastion came with the possible price of the both of us getting put to work on some minor sept duty. It was that possibility that had Nick switching his ears back and forth in protest.
But Joey’s look would have none of it. Resignedly, we set off down towards the nearest pile of rocks to pick our way across the tumbled boulders amidst the churning waves breaking against them. But Joey’s hand shot out again, and held me back.
“I need a word with you, Speaks with Water,” he said, the sound of pounding surf echoing as it crashed on the granite blocks. Nick looked back and I nodded to him. He grinned and strode off, picking his way over the boulders, shifting to Hispo as he went.
When Nick was a third of the way out into the jetty, Joey turned to me, a serious look in his eyes.
“What did you see, when you looked deep on the changelings?”
The question took me by surprise. On the surface it seemed that he just asked for my observations. But I knew differently. Among the Garou, I’m a theurge. Well, a theurge in training. That’s more than just a medicine man position. It means that I deal with spirits, visions and magic. The sorts of things that ordinary humans consider myth or the occult are part of my everyday existence.
So when Joey asked me what I saw, he was looking for deep meanings. The changelings had gifted me with the ability to see into their world. I was suddenly realizing that such a gift enhanced my own supernatural attunement more than Joey and Nick’s.
“I, uh… I saw that they both wore blue-white glows, as from Unicorn. And there was gold in their auras, for Robby and Kenny.”
“The sign of Phoenix?”
“Strongly there, yes, I think so. But hidden. Like it’s not supposed to be there yet, but coming from a long ways off. If that makes any sense,” I said, using a little of Nick’s sardonic tones.
He nodded, stroking his chin thoughtfully. “But did you have any visions about them while we were among them?” In the Garou language, there are 47 words that equate to “vision.” I found that out the hard way while trying to explain a dream I had to the elders once. The specific word he chose was the most common version of the word most associated with mystic insight. He wanted to know if I saw things in their power that I didn’t understand. At least that’s what I felt he was getting at.
“I don’t know,” was all I could say. “They had powerful Gnosis glows on their weapons and ornaments, though. I’ll meditate on it tonight.” Joey nodded and patted my shoulder, sort of smiling. Something was troubling him and pleasing him at the same time. It is kind weird how he can do that, be pleased at something that I do right and then in the same instant, wary. Almost like he was expecting someone to drop a bag of hammers on his head while giving him a bag full of money at the same time.
I trotted off, got about halfway down the jetty without getting more than just my paws wet when Nick came bounding up to see me. Jumping rocks without sneakers on is not fun. I think I cracked a claw scrambling on that one boulder that’s shaped like Utah.
“Ah checked in with ‘Bastian. He said everything’s cool.” Nick sort of body checked me with his hindquarters as we stood on Utah together. It’s a canine thing. We were still a bit influenced by the changeling intoxicants, I guess. So we roughhoused a bit on that rock, with the surf surging through the gaps between boulders.
“Good,” I chuffed, and lead the way back to the gritty brown sand and ocean’s edge. We charged back and forth, bouncing off each other as we went, being chased uphill by the waves breaking in and then chasing them back out as they faded. When we got back to the picnic table in front of our dugout, I switched back to boy form and collapsed on the softer sand by our den. Moments later, Nick fell in beside me, his chest heaving, a weird giggle coming out of him.
“What’s got your tail so twisted?” I asked, smiling at him with a touch of concern. He was acting weird. Since neither of us had been drunk before, I thought maybe that’s what he was feeling.
“Ah got a chubby in my sheath watchin’ your tail bounce as you ran,” he giggled between trying to catch his breath.
“You get hard just watching cloud shadows pass over sand,” I said back, shaking my head.
“Yeah, but yuir much more sexy than sand,” he said back, a twinkle in his eyes.
“Oh really, now?”
“Yeah, really, Glub-Glub.”
I put my hand on the side of his neck, letting my thumb smooth over the big muscle there. He really liked it when I touched him there. It sort of focused him passed the sorta hyper mood he gets into sometimes. “We okay in there? No brains scrambled up like eggs?”
“Aw, gimme a break,” he said, pulling my hand off his neck. “Ah’m all happy and relaxed about shit for a change. And you are lookin’ hawt! Don’t spoil it.”
Part of me wanted to protest, to like tell him that he wasn’t thinking right. But another part of me sort of took over and we wound up making out. We’d taught each other how to kiss and stuff, but we were always trying it differently. It’s like we were trying to figure out better ways to make each other completely lost and gone horny. Not that we needed much help in that department…
I lay back as his kissing got a little more aggressive. He was feeling very warm against me, even with our shirts in the way. I kinda like when we’re chest to chest like that, leaning on each other and all. We move around a lot, but it’s all good. It’s all oh-so good.
We pulled back a second, mostly coming up for air, and he rolled off me, both of us heaving our chests. My pants were far too tight just then, and I know from the feel of what he’d been grinding against my hip that Nick’s jeans could use a little loosening as well. We each looked over at each other, and it was weird how I could almost make out my own face staring back at me in the shiny parts of his eyes. Must be something about that stuff we drank.
“Tonight was really cool,” I said, trying to fill in the space as we caught up.
“Yeah,” he replied, breathily.
“And I really want to learn to fight like Robby and Kenny can.”
“And they’re like us, and the grown-ups don’t mind.”
“Yeah, that’s weird, though,” Nick said, partly sitting up on one elbow. “It’s like they’re all so much older than him, but they act like he’s the alpha or something.”
“I saw that, too.”
“They can sure fight, though. If that was just playin’ around, ah’d hate to be on the receivin’ end of them getting wild in a furball.”
“Yeah,” I said, reaching out to grab his neck again, leaning my forearm across his chest.
“Ah really like them. Ah’m glad we finally got some yankee friends,” Nick said, grinning wide, his eyes shining with more than just reflected moonlight.
“And ah liked when we got to… hold hands,” he said, getting a little blush. “Ah mean, Robby and Kenny’re younger’n us, but it’s like just understood that they get it on alla time, and no one gives ‘em any grief! Gaia, I wish it was that easy for us!”
I sobered a little at that. I still felt hard, but the way that Nicky said that made me think about what we could do right now. What we were not that far from maybe doing just before we broke for O2. About what we were probably about to talk about earlier today.
“Nick,” I said, using the non-cutesy version of his name. “You wanted to talk to me earlier, under the pier. You said it was about the next level?”
“In which video game?” he asked back, mimicking my reply to him at that time. Always ready to turn a joke back on you, my Nicky. Quick of wit and sharp too.
“I’m being serious here, Shadow. You looked like you had something really important to say, and like we got interrupted.”
“Oh, that?” he asked, sort of screwing his face up as he looked across at me. “You want to talk about that now? We could just go back to suckin’ face… or other parts,” he said, with a mischievous eyebrow flutter.
Which got me into fully entrenched, not budging from this point mode. I got a huge education in how to be an intractable ass in an argument. That was the one thing that I could learn incredibly well from my parents.
“Uh oh. Ah know that look,” he said. It was if I’d picked up the sober stick and poked him right in the eye. I even took my hand off his neck, leaning back from him. I might not be the most stubborn kid in the world, but I can definitely push Nicky’s buttons if I have to. And he knows it.
“Okay. Okay, ah surrender. Let’s talk.” He said it like “let’s tawlk” so I knew he was frustrated. His accent gets a lot thicker and, well, looser when he’s feeling deprived. It’s Nicky’s version of pouting, I guess.
“Okay. So what were you going to say under the pier?”
“Well, it’s kinda about us, Glubber. It’s like,” he paused and stared up at the roof of stars. “It’s like ah feel we’re movin’ right to something. Something both of us want.”
“Yeah, and ah dunno exactly what that is. Ah mean, we both like doin’ things to each other.”
“You know I do,” I said, stroking the side of his neck again. “We make each other horny and happy and tingly,” I added as he leaned into my touch. “But I can tell you’ve been thinking about something for a while now. Every time we touch each other lately…”
“Ah know,” he said, his voice quivering with emotion even as he struggled to keep it low. “Ah know, I feel it so much.”
“It’s like we’re both…”
“Holding back?” Nick asked, the corners of his mouth pulling back into something not quite a smile but not quite a frown. He looked, I don’t know, sort of overly anxious, like he was feeling pressure building inside his skull and knew it wouldn’t be long before his brains blew out.
“You feel that way, too?”
“Like, I want to do so much more. I know you have that feeling sometimes. I just don’t know how much more I’m ready for.” His accent had slipped, almost disappearing, so I knew he was telling me hard truths. “I want to like, go to the next thing. I just don’t know what that is. Or if it’s what I really want or just what my body wants.”
“Isn’t that the same thing?”
“My body wants to eat raw cow sometimes, too,” he said, tilting his head a bit to show he wasn’t entirely joking. “But going crinos and rippin’ into hamburger on the hoof isn’t likely to endear me to anyone, now is it?”
“Good point,” I said, remembering how hungry I sometimes got in crinos form. Apparently when you turn into a giant 9 foot tall walking collection of shag carpet, claws, fangs and bad attitude with muscles to match, you also grow a five gallon gas tank that wants to be filled with something warm and salty and chewy, with a bit of crunch to it.
And you thought regular teenagers were eating machines.
“We do good when we suck each other, right?” he asked, suddenly seeming uncertain of how he made me feel when we were being alone and intimate.
“Yeah. You know what I like and I think I know what you like. Especially when you do that thing with your thumb, you know, rubbing under the bottom, near the tip.”
“Yeah,” he sighed, grinning. “And like, when you nibble down the side, when ah’m really really hard,” he said, closing his eyes. “It really gets my motor runnin’ Cody.”
“Say that again,” I commanded softly.
“It really gets my…”
“No, the other thing.”
“Smart ass!” I said, starting to bring my arm back from across his chest, my fingers away from that smooth curve of his neck.
“Cody,” he said, softly, his hand coming up to seize my wrist. “Cody,” he said again, leaning down to kiss my hand right over my first knuckle and then laid it back on his chest, near his collarbone. “My Cody.”
“It’s only you an me here,” I said, not sure exactly what prompted this, but the moment was feeling real close. I mean, I was feeling really close to him. Not just physically, but like…
Oh I don’t know! It just felt like a cuddle and stare moment. Like Gnosis. Like magic.
“It’s only us, Nick. So nothing you tell me goes beyond my ears. Nothing you need to say gets passed on. Just you and me. My Nicky.”
“I know.” His eyes dropped from mine for a moment, almost as if he was embarrassed, or ashamed. I tried to stay steady, but something about this whole conversation had shifted for me and I was suddenly stiff. Not like hard-stiff, but afraid stiff. I mean, I was still kinda hard too, but at the moment, I was afraid that something might radically change for us in the next few minutes. And I wasn’t sure I was ready for it either. Nick was right to be careful in what was happening here. This was as close to uncharted territory as we’d been in a long time.
And as frightening as that was, I was too excited to back away, either. Nick was the same. We were in this moment and had to ride it where ever it went, for good or ill. I was just glad that he was as frustrated, worried and anxious as I was.
“So,” I said, hesitantly. “Out with it.”
“I want us to… to…”
“I want us to try the next step.”
“You mean, like, real sex?”
He nodded, and I could see his blush in the moonlight.
Oh, sweet Gaia, I remember thinking, he wants this so badly, but there’s something he’s terrified of about it, too. I stroked my thumb along his neck muscle, which made him close his eyes and take a deep breath.
“I want that too, Shadow,” is what I wanted to say. It’s what I wanted him to hear. And I know that’s exactly what I meant, but what I said was totally different. What I said was:
“You mean like right now?”
He looked over at me and the expression of hurt and anger that swept over his features just crushed me. He pulled at my elbow to get my arm off his chest and shifted his position, sitting up, partly turning away from me. He leaned over his knees and folded up on them, elbows bent, hands up behind his head, curled up and away from me.
“Forget it!” he almost shouted back. “Just leave me alone.”
I rolled on my belly and then turned a bit more to face him from about the level of his hips. His face was masked in shadows, mostly hidden as he buried his forehead on his folded forearms.
“Nick, I’m sorry. That didn’t come out right.”
“Just lemme alone.”
“Shadow, I’m sorry. I want to do things with you, you know that. I love you.” I reached out to touch him, just the back of my fingers brushing over the outside of his thigh, and he actually scooted away from me.
“You don’t know nuthin’, Glubber. ”
“Well, tell me, damn it!”
“You don’t wanna hear it, cuz you’ll just make fun of me.”
“Sha-ad-doooow!” I said, getting more agitated. “You know I screw up things I say sometimes.”
“It don’t matter.” I could hear him sobbing slightly now. My Nicky is all tough guy. To hear him crying just made me realize how deeply this had affected him. And how much that changeling apple-brandy stuff affected both of us.
“Shadow. Listen to me. You’re my closest friend ever. You’re my partner, my buddy, my packmate. You’re the only person who’s ever touched me down there other than a doctor since I was a baby. You’re the only person I ever kissed before, and the only one I want to kiss.”
He sniffed loudly, and I could see some of the tension in his back loosen up, his arms not hugging his knees quite so tightly.
“I love you, Shadow. My Nicky. My one and only.”
He turned a bit, letting one eye slip out from under his sandy hair. There was such longing in that one eyeball, that if he’d hit me with both of them right then and there, I’d have melted.
“I love you, too, Speaks With Water,” he said quietly. “There’s times I can’t contain how much I love you. It’s like I cain’t breathe without you.”
“I’m the same,” I said, moving about so that I could hug him from behind. I knelt up and wrapped my arms around him and felt him lean back into my chest, his head lolling back onto my shoulder.
“I want to try doin’ it,” he said, and I could hear the tension in his voice even as he relaxed his back against my body. “But I can’t do part of it. Maybe not at first. I just cain’t.”
“Can’t do what part of it, my Shadow?” I ask, softly, letting my fingers trace softly on the skin of his forearms.
“I can’t… can’t be the one that takes it. I can’t submit. I want to. Sweet Luna, I want to, Cody. But I can’t. It’ll just make it true.”
“Make what true?”
“What they call me behind my back.”
This was a first for me. Nothing anyone had ever said to him in insult had ever affected him. He was used to taunting and ridicule and bad jokes at other peoples’ expense. That’s the ragabash way.
“I don’t understand, Shadow. Help me understand so I can help you.”
“They call me… the bitch boy. The she-male,” he said with bitterness. Suddenly, so much of it made sense. His mother and sisters were from the Black Fury tribe, an amazon-like group of werewolves made up exclusively of women. In the darker times of that tribe’s past, boy-children were often put to death shortly after birth. He’d grown up as the token male in a house not only dominated by female presences, but ruled with an iron hand in the doctrine that males were weak, inferior and loathsome; good for only one thing, and to be discarded as soon as that genetic task was finished.
It was something I remembering the evil werewolves had called him when I first learned about my true nature. They had called him a he-bitch and a bitch boy. At the time, I didn’t realize how deep that taunting went. It seems that he’d probably been put down his whole life. Now that he was a full Garou and away from his mother’s tribe’s poisonous thinking, he had thought himself broken from that curse.
And if he submitted to me, if he let me be the “male” when we finally choose to have sex with each other for real, then he’d be giving up all the hard won ground he’d forged in making himself not only a Garou, but a true boy, a true male. He’d be giving up to me more than his tail-hole. He’d be giving himself back to being less than the all-boy, tough guy he’d become.
It also made me think about why he entered into that stare down with Sea Smoke earlier. He was challenging his new mother-figure for the right to be a boy. He was taking his balls back from his mom’s purse, basically. It made me proud.
Just in that moment, I knew what had to be. I had already figured in my mind that I would be the first to be taken. A lot of my hotter fantasies were about Nicky making me his. Of course, in those fantasies we traded places a lot, and tried weird positions and changed shape while stuck in each other and stuff like that. Things that only would appeal to another shape-shifter, sexually.
“My sweet Shadow,” I said, cautiously. I didn’t want to upset him. “I want you to come with me. We wont take that next step tonight. We need to figure it out more. Both of us. And I understand. At least a little bit, I understand.”
“I know you do, Glub-glub.”
“Then come with me,” I said, taking his hand. “And let me take the worry off your shoulders for a while. We’ll take that next step together, but not tonight. Tonight…” and I gave his fingers a little tug, “let me make you feel loved.”
“Okay,” he said, gathering his tears for future crying. He would not need them for at least the rest of the night.
We went down into our little dugout, hand in hand. I slowly took off his shirt, kissing my Nicky gently as I eased him down to our twisted pile of blankets. He helped me out of mine, taking a moment to inhale the fabric as he held it in his hand. Scent is such a part of our relationship. I wonder if it affects regular humans as much as it affects us werefolk?
Next I slipped off his socks and sneakers, although in reverse order. He smiled at me as I licked across his big toe. Next came his bathing suit. I moved up next to his hip and started untying the drawstring, pulling the lead string out and away with my teeth. He could feel my breath on his belly, because I saw his navel jiggle a bit, like my breathing had caused him a little shiver.
“You’re too good to me,” he whispered into the darkness.
“You’re worth it,” I grinned back. “And I do happen to love you.”
“Ya’ll better!” he returned. Instead of responding to his verbal jab, I poked out my tongue at him, then, with my tongue still showing, moved my face over his tummy, and licked at the base of his drawstring, leaving a little trail of my spit on his skin and the stretchy top part of his bathing suit.
“Mhmmm! Cody!” he breathed out, trembling slightly under my tongue as I tried to just lick my way around the waistband. I wanted to tease him a bit. Make him suffer some anticipation a tiny bit before I made him feel the awesomeness.
Using only my nose, I pushed at the waist of his bathing suit, slowly pushing them down. I could feel his hardness pushing back against the fabric, snagging it a bit. But that just drove me on more. I knew he was getting teased endlessly, and that made it better for him, too.
Nick growled softly above me, not sounding very convincing as a human as he did when in wolf form. He was being playful. I like when he’s like that.
I pushed my nose further down, wiggling my face some, getting my tongue into things as well, and felt my chin and cheeks pass into his bathing suit. Almost at once, his hardness was pressed against my cheek. I turned my face and licked at the tip, making him shudder slightly and raise one leg at the sensation.
“Looks like someone’s happy to see me,” I whispered against his tippy.
“Uhmmmm, you know it!”
“Maybe I better give my little friend here a kiss,” I almost giggled. My face was still sort of between his penis and his tummy, and all the scents I was getting from him, all the warmth from his body and his smooth penis, all that was just feeding directly into my face and brain. I was so hard I was probably able to pound 10-penny nails into concrete.
His hand went up over my hip, teasing back and forth over the skin just north of my khakis. I loved how he could just barely touch me and make it feel like icy lightning was dancing on my nerves. He’s gifted at finding my gooey spots. You know, those places that make you feel all gooey, warm and fuzzy inside when someone touches you. Yeah, he’s good like that.
So I slipped my lips up onto his shaft. Yeah, I know, I completely by-passed the tip so I could tease him some more. Besides, he really likes it when I start to…
“Oh, Cody!” he sighed as I started nibbling along the hard parts of his shaft, feeling the little ripples under the skin where he was hardest and just brushing them with my teeth. Both of his knees went up, his feet sliding on the dirt floor of our dugout, and I had to hold still a second while he squirmed so that I didn’t accidentally nip his most sensitive skin.
When he’d gotten comfortable again, I went right for the main event. I pushed my face in deeper and lapped at his ball sack. It was almost drippy with his sweet, sweet, salty sweat, and the smell just made me feel even drunker than the changeling wine had.
He had one hand on the back of my head now, doing that thing with his fingers gliding in my hair that just turns me on so much. He was loving it, and so was I. When I slid my face out, partway, I lifted my head up, which snapped his waistband down about halfway down his shaft.
“Ah! Easy, baby,” he said, almost hissing.
“Well, this has got to go,” I said, easing his bathing suit down. He lifted his butt up to help and I got it up over the twin humps of his knees before letting it go. I moved back in and inhaled his tippy, savoring the taste of his skin and the sweaty flavor of it. I felt rather than saw him lift his feet up and twitch around to get the swim trunks off his ankles. He put his feet back down with a wide stance, so I could get at all his parts.
I brought him close about four times before I let him cum. It was a lot of work on my part to not push my own straining cock over to his face and insist he do me as well. But this was for my Nicky, and I could wait. As it is, I gushed in my own undies once while sucking him. It was just too hot between us for me to not feel that tension. My body has a mind of its own sometimes and my mind was preoccupied.
When he did cum, I took it in my mouth, trying to keep him surrounded by his own warm flow as I kept my tongue and lips working on him. Even after he’d stopped, I still sucked on him, until he was all the way limp. I had swallowed some of his stuff, but kept some in my mouth.
“You got a taste of me for me?” he asked, panting heavily. He’d been really loud as I sucked him. That was more of a turn on for me as well. I moved up along his body, nuzzling my face against his soft tummy and over his chest as I went. When I got to his mouth, I leaned forwards and waited for his tongue. He tickled my lips and I opened my mouth to let his tongue in and his stuff drip into his own mouth.
We made out for a little while longer, but to be honest, my neck was tired. Nicky cuddled me against his side, enjoying his afterglow. I quickly fell to sleep beside him, glowing in my own way.
When I woke up in the morning, my head on fire from the changeling wine the night before, Nick still had a smile on his face. And despite the pounding headache in my own skull, so did I.