That evening, I ended up in Ryan's house because he insisted on going to his house but was so sad I didn't want to leave him alone. He barely ate at dinner and, to be honest, I didn't each much either as I was worried and couldn't picture anything in my mind other than the moment I would have to say goodbye to Ryan, leaving towards the road, to college, which was getting closer, like a very upcoming fact.
That night, we were close to each other, thoughtful, lying on the bed. I was looking at the ceiling and the moving shadow which was being made by the raindrops falling outside occasionally interrupted by the flashes of light the thunders were producing.
Ryan was lying by my side as the moonlight and the thunder flashes let me see that slim body. His blond hair close to his face, his beautiful nose, his lips, his green shiny eyes... moving downwards, his bare smooth chest, his abs, his boxers, his briefs... thighs, legs...
"You can't go, Phil," Ryan said, breaking the silence, as he was looking at the ceiling then he turned his head to look at me. As he stared, his eyes were filling with tears. One tear was shedding on his cheek.
"Hey?!" I tenderly asked, referring to his crying.
"It's just that I'm gonna lose... That letter came and with that the news that you're moving to another city... soon," he said as the tears were running on his cheeks.
"And you're so beautiful, as I get to see your body, your face,..." he was saying as I was just looking at him and I honestly just couldn't know where he was seeing all of it... at me... "...your straight hair, your gray eyes, your positive smile." he was finishing giving in to the tears.
"Hey, stop crying." I told him, trying to look calm while my feelings, actually, were all like a lump inside me. "Your face is already reddish the much you've been crying and you are getting even bags under your eyes."
"You say that as if your eyes weren't reddish and with bags under it as well." Ryan completed. That got me without anything else to say, as I really wanted being able to hide it from him, my sadness, that only added to his, this antecipation which was making something like a hole inside of me... only thinking about being without Ryan again... like it was before, dark, cold... lonely.
"Maybe it would be better if we ended all of it now," Ryan said like if it were the first thing that came out of his mind, out of the blue... at least I was taken by surprise, at all.
"You don't know what's best for me!" I said, almost screaming, I admit, as I rolled over him and instinctively held his both wrists with my hands as the green of his eyes, shining due to being all watered were locked with the light gray of mine.
I was kind of angry, kind of sad, kind of desperate. I was obviously sad because I've even been praying for that, going to the State's but maybe that made me learn sometimes we focus so straight on what we think we want and when we get we can see that wasn't what we wanted at all. So, I was angry because I got exactly what I asked for and exactly what was making me suffer and I felt even confused with that and I was angry because I just had been tough at Ryan and was holding his wrists, being even violent at him, my most precious thing in this world, who I should save as the most fragile one and who I was hurting in that very moment, even with my words.
"I'm sorry, Ry," I said with tears filling my eyes seeing what I was doing to myself, and to him, while I kissed endlessly his both wrists with small kisses trying to heal what I just did, not exactly in his pale wrists but maybe in his feelings.
"Hey, that's ok Phil," he said, even managing a weak smile which was inviting for a long kiss. As our lips met with our eyes closed, it seemed it could take the problems away, even if for the slightest moment.
"Why does everything have to be so complicated?" I asked, as I was lying over him, looking at his angelical face.
"I'm sorry Phil, really. I didn't mean that." he apologized for ever considering I'd want us to break apart. "I mean, I wanted having a way to make it easier..." he continued "... not to hurt, you know?"
I reached for the sweet taste of his lips and maybe for his air and somehow some of his soul, to give me some strength to go on, maybe some light in my dark and confused path on a romantic kiss.
Our tongues entwined as it seems our bodies seemed to do the same while my hands were behind his back and his hands were running all over my back, sides, arms, briefs and even on my butt. The way our tongues `laced ` it seemed even nature couldn't allow us to get apart from the way they seemed so perfect, well-attached together, making it wetter, making our kiss deeper.
And we went on inhaling of each other's air, tasting of each other's taste in that unbreakable kiss. Then, I was inhaling at his neck, feeling his boyish – strawberry? clean? – scent in the middle of his soft hair while he was tasting of my bare chest.
He rolled over me to taste more of my chest pecks and then was lightly kissing my lower abs, close to my bellybutton when he brushed his lips against my briefs' waistband and pulled them off.
"Everything's gonna be fine, k?" he said with a tentative, calming smile, while planting little kisses at my navel.
I just nodded while I had my head bent forward enjoying each second of his beauty; seeing his care for me.
He smiled once more with the tip of my shaft on his mouth and directed his green gaze at me. I smiled back, contented at knowing that I would be able to say for the rest of my existence in this world that I had someone who loved me that much, with such a shiny smile, eyes... soul.
As he was sucking his hair was lightly brushing against my navel and he was running his hand on my thigh. I was starting to breathe heavily, being taken by the amazing sensation.
He kept a pace and soon I was erupting in his mouth, still breathing heavily and with that thankful feeling inside of my chest.
He reached for a kiss as we met our smiles in a smiling kiss.
So I was lightly pulling him onto the mattress while I was holding at his shoulders, running my thumbs on his upper chest, lost in the shine of his eyes, which somehow could bring me hope.
I was kissing his chest while he let out deep moans. Then, I was lightly making his navel all wet with little kisses.
I skipped my prize and went brushing my lips on his thighs, kissing the inner part, making him shiver, while running my palms against his sides.
As I reached for his manhood I licked the base of it but before it could throb in my hand I took all of it in my mouth because I really wanted to drink some of his sweet juice one more time, like if I would miss it awfully, when I couldn't have it anymore.
Soon, contracting his abs and bending his head forward, Ryan rewarded me with what I wanted along with deep moans.
"That was so sweet," Ryan said, smiling as I reached for a kiss, still lying upon him, with our chests against each other.
"Before... jerking off felt hollow, sexual things felt senseless... but with you..." I said not even completing the sentence as there was an understanding and an agreement in the air.
"Can you feel my heartbeat?" Ryan asked above a whisper planting a kiss on his earlobe.
"Yes," I replied, meaning it.
"We're so blessed on having each other... " I said, once more looking at him, directly in his attentive eyes. "Some people want it badly and can't have it. Maybe and most probably some do everything right and don't even get a single true friend... I used to do that, I know how it felt."
We were lying close to each other to sleep as I was holding Ryan in my arms, wrapped around him, as he had his back against my chest. I was about to ask if he had drifted off, as to me, particularly, sleep wasn't coming, as I felt a few sobs. Due to that, I held him tighter.
"As the song says, `you're in the arms of the angel, may you find some comfort here'." I said, resting my smile on his upper back as I didn't deny the tears that were running freely from my eyes.
Next morning I woke up as I felt Ryan caressing me, running his palms on my arms. As I opened my eyes I saw the beauty of his features, as looking at me, kneeling on the mattress, close to me.
"Good morning," I said with a beautiful smile, taking the sand out of my eyes.
"G'morning, hun." he sweetly replied, still running his hands on my arms.
He lay upon me, with his body against mine, kissing my neck and then resting his cheek on my shoulder as I held him tight. He started crying.
"Why are you boys so quiet, you aren't smiling today?" Ryan's dad asked as we were having breakfast in that gloomy morning.
"Oh, dad... Phillip has just been accepted at the State's University..." Ryan told him.
"Congrats!" his dad said to me.
"...he's leaving to the capital soon," Ryan concluded.
"Oh, now I see" his mom started "it's `cause your friend is moving away." she was saying to him.
"Oh, don't be like that. We can make a party or something. Besides your letter from college didn't arrive yet and you don't know where you're going to study, yet." his mom finished trying a smile at us not getting much success.
The breakfast went on mostly quiet as we finished eating.
We didn't feel like doing much more to the afternoon as the day was even a little dark as the rain poured outside, so we went back to Ryan's room.
It seems there was a dark cloud over the house and you could see through the window, it was like the leaves of the trees were crying with us.
We were sitting on his bed and I was holding him, with his back against my chest as he'd bend his head backwards to reach my cheek for a quick kiss as we watched the rainfall across the window's glass. Then, he was holding me and caressing my bare chest as we felt each other's breathing.
He put a mattress on the floor and we were lying there, looking at the ceiling, at the window, but mostly at each other as we caressed each other's tummy.
"I thought people wouldn't miss me, before, but now, there's you..." I started absentmindedly at him. He was just looking attentively.
"I'm thinking about coming visiting you every weekend," I told him.
"Things are so different... you'll see... there are people who don't even get to see their parents usually, sometimes not even for distance but for time, who can't be with their parents not even on the father's or mother's day, you know?" Ryan `brought me back to reality'.
"Maybe worse than being lonely is losing it after living, tasting, all we have..." I told him.
We stayed all the day like that, in his bedroom, feeling each other's closeness like if we wanted to absorb the most of it we could as we didn't feel like having lunch. So, by the evening, we decided going downstairs to have maybe a sandwich and a juice.
There was a letter on the table, close to the front door... `though already opened, I noticed.... Ryan was already going to the kitchen when I stopped to get a better look at that. So, he stopped with me.
"Ryan, take a look at that," I said, pointing to it, on the table.
He just went towards it. He took the paper on his hand and had a blank expression as he read it. Then he screamed.
I was already getting scared... maybe that was a message that a relative that he liked very much had died. I mean, we had a lot of problems already as we were struggling to keep with each other never getting pleased as I was about to leave.
"Ry, tell me, what happened?"
"It's... it's just that..." he started.
"Phil!!!" he screamed again.
"What?!" I screamed back, already scared.
"See... see that." he came beside me and showed me the paper.
"Ryyy!" I got hysterical back along with him.
"You were accepted at state. We're gonna study... together!"
"We're finally get together, forever," he said with that undeniable sparkle coming from his eyes.
We held each other turning around in the living room, laughing out loud, hugging each other, tight and our sad tears were quickly replaced be tears of joy.
As we turned around I blinked as the sun coming from across the room's window as it was back again. I could see his parents through the window, taking care of the garden, laughing at us as they were outside and could hear our screams.
They got to tell my parents – I got so confused before that I didn't even have the opportunity to do it – and it seems they were settling things to celebrate.
"Hey, Ryan, congrats," I said, not denying a huge grin. "Your parents are really proud of you."
"So are yours proud of you." he completed.
"I guess it'd be even worse than being refused at the university if you passed and your parents weren't proud of you, and didn't show any great appreciation, if I wasn't soothed with the good feeling of being accepted," I said.
That night, we felt once more, and now definitely, that we had all the time of the world back.
"Honestly, I didn't know what I'd do if you couldn't get together," I confessed at Ryan.
"Me neither," he added to my feeling with a smile. "I guess I'd feel hollow, my life would lose its sense."
"I guess we need to relax after all that," I concluded.
With that, I sat on his butt, supporting myself on my knees, one on each side of him, as he was lying on his stomach, on a mattress, on the floor, resting his head on his arms, under it.
"Mmm, yeah." he moaned and took a deep breath as I gently placed my hands on his shoulders and started rubbing them.
I ruffled his golden hair, which however was reflecting silver like the moonlight coming from across the window reached it and was caressing his smooth milky neck. I didn't resist and planted a kiss on his neck. He giggled at that.
I slowly ran my thumbs over his spine and my palms on his back. I couldn't help noticing it seemed his hair was getting long, his back was getting larger. With that, I was lightly kissing all over his back.
"Mm... you're so nice," Ryan said lazily.
"You're so beautiful." I huskily completed.
With that, I reached his waistband and caressed his soft butt through it. My shaft was rock hard. With my hands close to his thighs I couldn't help wanting to check what was 'Ry's situation' so, first I grabbed his balls getting a deep moan as a reply and then slipped my hand under him to feel his hard cock throb over it through the fabric.
I grabbed his thighs to massage them, those strong back of his thighs, hard, beautiful, with those gold thin hairs all over them. Then, there were his hard calves, which I pressed with my thumbs making him moan hard. I made sure of running my hands and thumbs on his feet, too and then made my way up, running my hands all over. As I placed my hands on his shoulders to start rubbing them again, Ryan interrupted me.
"Okay, okay, that's enough, my turn or I'll cum... the much it's already mmm... leaking," he said, even bashful in the end to my greatest delight. But that was true as I could barely contain my hardness.
So, maybe to contribute to some relaxation in such a context, Ryan placed me lying on the mattress, on my stomach.
I settled my breathing regular. Ryan kissed the top of my head, over my hair.
He started running his hands in circles on my upper back, this way I felt his warmth coming to me. Then, he was rubbing my shoulders, first lightly, getting vigorous, bending down, exhaling close to my neck.
"Do you like it Phil?" he huskily asked above a whisper, exhaling close to my neck.
"Mm... yeah." I contentedly replied.
He pressed his right thumb, forcefully against my upper spine.
"Aaah." I deeply gasped, inhaling a lot of air.
Then, he pressed more places on my lower back.
After that, he got back to my shoulders, rubbing, caressing them. He planted kisses on my shoulders.
"Better hun?" he inquired.
"Mhm." I replied with a smile.
Next, he caressed my butt and planted a kiss over it. As he made his way to my thighs I could feel my shaft throb each time he ran his thumbs on my inner thighs and then he slowly caressed my calves. On my feet, he made sure of running his thumbs several times on the base sending me even little jolts.
All I knew at the moment is that all that contact, all that energy between us, with Ryan, the most special person in the world was driving me crazy. I could barely stand in the same position.
He placed his hands on my waistband and took my briefs off while I was still lying on my stomach.
"Are you leaking precum, aren't you?" I asked, resting my left cheek against the mattress.
"Yeah," he said and rubbed his cock's head against my butt for me to feel that.
"So, go for it." I encouraged him and even raised my butt a little up.
He lay upon me after placing its head on the right place and was lightly kissing my neck while I felt it all slipping in as I didn't offer any resistance.
Waves of pleasure were running from his body to mine in that connection.
His erupting cum settled our deal of feelings and he erupted, and erupted more as I felt his manhood contract inside of me.
"Cum too," he whispered in my ear and took his hardness out of me.
I placed my palms over his upper back as he was lying on his stomach, on the mattress, under me.
I felt that amazing sensation as the super sensitive head of my throbbing cock, full of precum, all over it, slipped in his butt. His moans only added to it to make me feel almost numb.
There wasn't even time for me to find a sync before I couldn't help the stronger throbs and spasms as I couldn't help the building up urge which grows stronger and stronger until I felt all my load coming out of me and filling him.
After that flushing, warming, amazing sensation I just rested for a minute, lying my body over his.
He rolled under me and was facing me as we were still breathing heavily and I could feel the warmth from his chest, close to mine, rising and falling as I stared at his contented smile, of happiness that brought such happiness to my heart, as, in that very moment, I found out that what made me happy the most was seeing him happy.
He was smiling even with his eyes at me and I could see our future shine bright, there, back, lost in that shade of green. I'm sure I was smiling back with shining eyes as well.
"Are you happy?" Ryan asked still taking his breath, with his contented undeniable huge smile.
"Yes. I'm the happiest guy in the world." I sincerely replied.
"So, I'm happy too." he completed, as the sincerity of his words came to me through the shine of his eyes.
"They don't know where finding love..." I started, staring at his gaze.
"I just found... it's here.. in the light of your eyes." I assured him, deeply looking in his eyes as I was lying upon him. That only made his smile wider at me along with the joy transmitted by that light. "That's where I take the energy of my life," I concluded.
"We can finally get together, forever," Ryan said, with the most contented voice, intensely looking at me.
He pulled me closer at him, wrapping his hands on my back, bringing our chests together, this way we could feel each other's breathing and heartbeat.
"I love you, Phillip."
"I love you, Ryan."