I Want a Friend

Chapter Seventeen: Adjusting

That was a very warm morning but there was a strong wind cooling it off, brushing against the trees, carrying the leaves, while the sun was rising on the horizon, there, at the end of the street, right in front of me as I walked to school.

So, as I was walking and it seems time goes by so slowly when we're calm and thinking about things. Looking at that beautiful morning, I smiled, thinking of Ryan. He made me smile with him and could even make me smile when I was alone as I would be alone but never lonely. I guess that is why love builds something and that is the way Ryan helped me rebuilding myself, being myself for the first time, someone who is good, feels good, who I am with him.

My first class was history and it was noticeable the school year was ending as the subjects were closing to an ending.. But concerning to that matter I have been realizing that it wasn't an ending but just a beginning, mainly to the subjects I liked, because I didn't want to know only up to that point, I wanted to learn more and as very smart people say I assume the much I get to know the more evident it is going to be the little I know.

Well, that got evident on a physics test, that day but gladly, it was lunchtime after that.

"So, how's been your day?" Ryan asked, kind of enthusiastic but not exactly that. It was more like the sunlight was contributing to the shine of his smile.

"Well, I had Lit's test but it was easy `though there's too much stuff to know..." I started.

"Yeah," Ryan replied with his smile still at me.

"And then I guess I didn't manage physics that well." I sighed.

"You know you're gonna pass, don't you?" Ryan stated out.

"Yeah, but it's gonna be a so ordinary grade... I wanted better." I shrugged.

"Phillip, don't be vain, average grades are okay too," Ryan said, and well, he wa right. "Aaand we are together, so everything is fine, right?" he concluded, with a tentative smile, as we were eating our lunch.

"Yeah..." was all I could reply with a smile of my own.

That wasn't being the best day -- okay, I can't say bad because I had Ryan -- anyway, I sensed I took a low grade in a test and thinking about grades just reminded I should already have received a letter from the university, and well, you know what it happens when you don't get any.

Gladly I would swim along with Ryan after the classes.

I changed and when I reached the pool, Ryan was already there and that was a comforting beautiful view for the day as he was standing beside the pool. Water was slipping from his dark blond hair as he looked at me with those green eyes and spread a smile, only in blue trunks.

And well, that view was really beautiful. Ryan was delightful himself as that light love has makes everything shine better, taste better, including Ryan -- even for tasting *blush* - and the way he moved through the water made it so gracious that one could say the movement was in accordance with his body, but seeing his wish, force of will, I knew that it showed mostly his determination to get to that... only reinforced by his beauty and slimness.

I admit that got me also to think the much I'd miss swimming if, someday, I couldn't do that, or even the gym...

Well, of course, I was thinking too much, using Ryan's words, so I went to the swimming. Ryan didn't even notice, me thoughtful, the much he was focused, to get better and well, we do get better every day and bad things happen every day making people better, stronger. I just sincerely hope anything bad happens for me now that Ryan lights up my life as he was swimming a lot, that was for sure.

Concerning such matter, I just knew there were many things to make things better, as I had Ryan, and wanted to make our relationship better. It is fundamental not being selfish -- actually even if logically not being, making sure you don't feel this way... as I'd been having a problem with that -- so I made sure I'd talk more to him... we'd talk more, together, know more about each other... maybe what the feelings couldn't already show.

"So, Ry, what do you think I could do to be a better mmm `boyfriend'? I asked as we walked home.

"This, new, boyfriend thing is so cool..." he said back, actually more smiling that speaking to that fact.

"I think you're perfect the way you are, I love you." he continued.

That meant a lot, so I should say something back. That meant so much to me I should be struggling for words, but the much it was I just wasn't... I... I was just smiling helplessly looking at him and his beauty as the breeze gently brushed his golden hair close to those green eyes that shone as he stared at me and those soft reddish lips which were a little apart as if he would say something else. I could feel that bond of... energy that holds me and him together. It seems that was a good idea talking more, this knowing more about each other thing, that I was doing ok for him, letting him happy.

And as we walked, I had a large smile and was almost laughing at life the joyful Ryan makes me.

"So Phil... what do you want for your future?" he asked.

"I want to live by myself, on a farm, just me, the cows and the grass," I said playing a serious expression. I mean, anything I could possibly want surely would be with Ryan by my side, first thing.

Ryan was looking at me with those green eyes at me, shining even more, but no longer smiling, with serious lips, shining eyes. That replaced my chuckle for a tentative smile.

"I was just kidding, right?" I asked, as my eyes met his for telling him I meant it.

"Okay, then," he said as that beautiful smile came back to his face and also to the light of his eyes.

We kept walking as the sun was being replaced by some clouds in the sky.

"Phillip, would you like... someday... maybe... " Ryan started asking in a low tone, not looking in my eyes "... mmm, by any chance, live alone, like by yourself?" he asked. I opened the door as we got in, arriving home.

"Never. I'd never want to be apart from you." I replied, with my hands on his shoulders, not even noticing the deadly serious expression I had as I was being really serious on that statement.

I smiled at him as I got lost in the depth of his eyes and a tear fell from his watering eyes.

"I wouldn't bear living." I continued.

"I mean it," I concluded. "I love you," I whispered in the end and started planting little kisses all over his face bringing that shiny smile back to his face.

I was resting my head on his bare chest and caressing it as we were lying on my bed, telling random beautiful things ot each other and mostly enjoying each other.

Ryan ended up falling asleep. I was feeling horny of having his hands all close to me exploring here and there as he liked, as I let him, as I liked it so much, as I liked him so much, and was resting my head over him, my hands over him, that smooth skin but I would let him rest. I wouldn't do anything just because I wanted as he was tired. I knew how bad it felt doing that. And I just wanted him to feel good, to be happy, so I'd let him rest, but I just knew I couldn't rest myself being that horny.

I cautiously got out of the bed not to make noise nor move much and went to the bathroom. I released that tent on my white boxers as I stood. There was quite some time I didn't do that without Ryan, or so it seemed the much much better when we're together.

So, I just closed my eyes. It's amazing the way just Ryan flashed in my mind. So I bent my head back and couldn't deny my shaft having a hand around it. It was really demanding attention and thinking of Ryan just increased such need.

Then, I decided I would take my hands out of it, even if only a little -- the little I'd bear -- and lightly feel my lower ab and my upper thighs and balls. My balls were really hard to explode by that time. They'd tighten even more as I ran the tip of my fingers over the little hairs as the tip of my fingers would be so sensible over my abs' skin.

I looked down as I felt some of my hair falling towards my face. I looked at my hardness to see it throb... I heard something... like a very low sob coming from the door.

That was Ryan. I saw him going away as the door was a little open... as he was watching me... I don't know if it was for long. I just put my briefs up and ran to the bedroom.

Ryan was just starting to cry, sitting on my bed. I didn't get it.

"Hun, why are you crying?" I asked in the most gentle way I knew, kneeling in front of him, taking hold of his hands over his thighs.

"That's ok Phil," he said, trying to breath better as the tears were shedding.

"No, that can't be ok if you're crying," I assured him.

"Ry, hun, if you keep crying I'll cry too," I told him running a thumb on his cheek.

"It's just that... " he started as I was paying attention with all the gray of my eyes directed at him "... if you prefer jacking off alone than... well, that's ok, I mean..."

I didn't let him finish as I hugged him tight, so hard that I ended up pulling him to lie on the bed as I didn't even aim the kiss, kissing his upper chest, shoulder, cheek, nose, reaching his mouth, as he allowed me, parting his lips, as I felt that sadness rush through my body.

I just knew I'd start crying if he kept that sad but I didn't as I broke the kiss and looked at him. He looked back with a somehow confused look.

"I'd never prefer anything but making love with you," I said as confident as I could make it sound looking deeply into his eyes. That got a small smile of him, but didn't quite resolve his confusion.

"So, why were you doin' that?" he asked.

"Mm... well, because I didn't want us to do anything just because I was horny... I mean, you were sleeping so peacefully and I was horny so... I didn't want to wake you up... to do anything that you didn't really want to..." I was finishing as he placed his index finger over my lips and rolled over me on the bed.

"Now... didn't we agree already that I'm fine with everything we do together? You didn't have to think I wouldn't like the help that relief for any reason," he said almost demanding an agreement... mmm... as I really had agreed with that before.

I sensed my cheeks getting warm as he looked at me. He was right and maybe I was just silly.

He stopped looking in my eyes and looked at our bare torsos for one moment.

"What?" I asked.

"It's just that I feel silly..." he started and looked at me, with pink cheeks. "I guess I was jealous even of you with yourself."

With that, I rolled over him again.

"Now do somethin'" he continued with a gasp "'cause as we're talking you're rocking against me and that's making me so horny."

We shared a kiss but I quickly broke it. He looked down as I aimed the tent in his briefs.

I kissed it as he moaned. I started sucking it through the cotton of his briefs.

"Oh, Phil, please." Ryan moaned.

So, I quickly took his briefs off and just knew I couldn't resist anymore taking his shaft in my mouth, all of it. It felt so good, leaking precum as Ryan contracted his thighs and arms on the bed.

I was sucking it as Ryan moaned louder and the climax was when I was rewarded with his juice. I was so horny and focused that I didn't miss any of that.

After that, I was making my way up on his hard abs towards his lips.

He quickly broke the kiss as he smiled widely at me rolling over me on the bed as all that moving was even flushing his cheeks.

He started kissing my right peck, on my chest, as he caressed my torso with his hands, making sure he was rocking against my crotch.

"Oh, Ry, come'on, quickly... pleeease." I was moaning.

Attending to that request, he took my briefs off and almost swallowed all of my hardness as it disappeared between his soft lips.

That was too much feeling his tongue against my precum in his mouth so I severely erupted in his mouth, and the relieve felt so good, so felt his smile at me after that, kneeling on the bed, staring at me, beautiful.

He lay, resting his head on my chest, close to my neck, as we looked at each other. He adjusted himself over me.

"It feels so good doing it. It seems like it's been a lifetime since the last time we did it, always." I said.

"I'd never rather anything else in this world than that closeness, with you, and only you Ry," I said above a whisper.

"See? That's perfect... Why would I want otherwise?" I asked in an assuring tone, smiling myself.

He just smiled placing his mouth on my chest.

I just held him close to me, with my hands on his bare back as he looked at me, resting his chin on my chest.

"That was really important meeting you... more than that, I got to know who I really am, this happy, complete person, who I didn't know before... and got to know you, who I didn't know before, who's perfect..." I finished with a large smile at him.

"Yeah, I guess we're adjusting to this boyfriend thing," Ryan said irradiating that beautiful smile of his.

"We've got tenderness and trust; learning with each other and this closeness; feeling good... with you being there, being together, feeling complete as we are sharing." I was saying and Ryan was smiling at me "One thing is for sure, I'm gotten by love's arrow." I finished smiling at him.

".. a friend is all I wanted and as things went by I got much more than that.." I completed as our watering eyes said we could almost cry in happiness to each other just due to such closeness and we kissed, hugging even harder as if our life depended on that, very tight and close together.

My Note: 

I had to read that again myself... as if I missed 'em.. I was wondering... do we create souls as we write???... like if we were god.. like if God is everyone.. a piece of everything.. that mystical law that moves the world...
If that's it, I feel they're good people, that's why they get to our feelings *shrug* 

Did you notice all the titles from the previews chapters are written here in this chapter???... time passed but it's all here in the story, keep reading of mine! I've been so busy but I made sure of not letting my writing down, so I sincerely hope you who read it, really appreciate it and if you do, I'd really like hearing of yours at  Luiz

In the meanwhile, take a look at my other series, Through the Rain and My Angel if you feel like.