Connor

 

 

Connor slowly opened his eyes. Shamus and Carol were looking down at him with concern written all over their faces. He lifted his head and looked around to find Danny in Katty’s arms with Ronin standing beside them. He glanced out the window and saw the sun breaking over the horizon.

He looked back to Shamus and asked, “What happened?”

Shamus replied, “You tell me, buddy. I stopped by to check on you boys and found you asleep on the floor. Did Danny kick you out of your own bed?”

Connor shook his head and replied, “Um, no, no, he didn’t. I woke up and was…” He glanced at Katty and Ronin, then looked Shamus in the eyes and said, “Well, I thought I was awake. I’ve never walked in my sleep, but maybe that’s what happened?” 

Shamus turned to Carol and said, “Why don’t you take Katty and the boys down to breakfast? Connor and I will be along shortly.”

Carol nodded and escorted Katty, Ronin, and Danny out of the room. Once they were alone, Shamus looked at Connor and asked, “Want to tell me?”

Connor chewed his lower lip as he debated if he should trust Shamus with what he had seen. On the one hand, the man had shown nothing but concern whenever Connor had a problem. On the other hand, Shamus was keeping secrets. If he told the truth, Shamus would think he was nuts. Connor knew what he had to do. 

Connor looked down and said, “I must have sleepwalked and just not made it back to bed. I’m sorry for causing so much trouble.” 

Shamus ran his hand through Connor’s hair and said, “Remember we agreed; secrets, but no lies.”

Connor blushed and said, “Sorry. I don’t want to talk about it. Is that ok?”

Shamus smiled and said, “Of course it’s ok. When you decide you want to talk about it, I’m here.” When Connor nodded, Shamus decided to change the subject. “Well, if you’re feeling fine, get your butt downstairs for breakfast. We have work to do!”

Connor groaned but grinned and jumped to his feet. Once he was dressed, he headed to the kitchen to find Danny, Ronin, and Katty already shoveling scrambled eggs and sausage into their mouths. Connor sat and was soon clearing off his own plate. 

Shamus put his coffee mug down, looked around the table, and said, “When you’re done eating, you all head out and saddle Scout, Brandy, Fenrir, Mac Tíre, Lady, Blaze, and Smokey. Ronin, I’m assuming the terrible two are going to meet us at Clint’s place?” 

Ronin nodded and said, “Yes, sir. They are helping dad get the portables hooked up to the trucks before Clint gets there. They’ll ride over and meet us at the corral.” 

Shamus looked at Katty and asked, “Your dad’s cattle are grazing in Carson Coulee?”

Katty nodded, answering, “Yes, sir. We’ve got our 97 there, then Uncle Aiden’s 142 out by the landfill. Pa checked the fences in both fields, so we can put the sale pairs in the north pasture and hold the keepers in the south.”

Ronin picked up where his cousin paused, “Dad says the weather should be good this weekend for us to drive the keepers to Clear Creek and Bear Paw. He wants to bring the trucks in on Friday to haul out the sale pairs.” 

Shamus turned to Danny and said, “You ride Mac Tíre and do what you can, boy. If you start feeling tired, you tell someone and take a break, you hear me?”

Danny nodded solemnly and replied, “Yes, sir. What am I doing?”

To everyone’s surprise, Shamus said, “You’re pushing. You know what that means?” When Danny nodded, Shamus added, “You just hold on and let that mare of yours do what she knows.” 

Shamus stood and headed for the door. That was everyone’s signal to get moving. Connor took Danny’s hand, and they followed everyone to the stable. Katty came in as Connor was putting the saddle on Fenrir. 

“Do you know how to load up your saddle for today?” When Connor said he didn’t, she proceeded to help him hang his ropes. After helping him do Fenrir, she watched as he saddled Mac Tíre. When he turned, she nodded in approval. 

When they led their horses outside, Connor saw a RAM truck with a gooseneck livestock trailer attached that everyone was loading their horses into. His confusion must have shown because Ronin said, “A livestock trailer is good enough for the horses for short moves around the ranch like this. It also gives us a way to move any cattle we find that need to be transported.” 

Shamus looked at Katty and said, “You’re driving. I want to finish my coffee.” 

Katty gave a groan and climbed into the driver’s seat. She held up a travel mug as she jokingly whined, “No fair! I wanted to finish mine.” 

Connor saw Ronin rolling his eyes as he climbed into the seat behind Katty. He lifted Danny into the middle seat, then climbed in behind Shamus. As they drove away from the house, Ronin lifted a mug to his lips, then lowered it and turned to Connor. 

“Guess we’ll see what you’re made of today, cousin. Think you’re up for it?” 

Connor just gazed through the window as he answered, “I guess we’ll find out, huh?”

Half an hour later, Katty stopped in front of a gate. Connor thought they were there until Ronin shouted, “Not it!” 

Connor was confused until Katty explained that someone had to open the gate to let the truck through and then close it behind them, so the cattle wouldn’t get out. On hearing this, Connor understood Ronin’s exclamation and grudgingly got out to open the gate. 

When he returned, Ronin grinned and said, “Don’t worry, cuz, we take turns. I got the next one.” 

They went through three more gates, then Katty parked in front of a large corral surrounded by smaller gated sections as well as several fenced pathways. As Connor looked at it, he realized the paths and smaller areas were for sorting cattle into groups. 

When he was leading Fenrir and Mac Tíre from the trailer, Connor saw Rory and Regan ride up with a group of five men. Rory dismounted and walked over to talk with Katty. 

As Connor lifted Danny onto Mac Tíre, Katty turned and said, “I’ll keep an eye on him this morning, Connor. The twins are tagging and cutting. Ronin’s branding. Has anyone explained how we do this?”

Connor climbed onto Fenrir and said, “It looks simple enough, but I’d appreciate it if you go through it, if you have the time?” 

Katty looked around, then said, “Mom and Emmet ain’t here yet, so we got a minute. Follow me.” She turned her chestnut mare and headed to the center of the corral. Pointing toward the cattle, she said, “Me, Danny, and Clyde will slowly move the herd toward the chute entrance there.” 

She pointed to one of the funnel-like entrances of one of the pathways and said, “You and Shamus will be roping calves and pulling them over to the twins. They’ll tag them and give them their shots. Then they’ll call out to Mom if it’s a male or female, along with the tag number. If it’s a male, they’ll do a quick cut. Either way, Ronin will brand them right before the twins let them go. The adult cattle go through the chute, where Dale and Randy will check them over and call out the tag numbers to Mom while Emmet does injections. At this point, Uncle Tiernan will decide if it’s a keeper, a butcher, or a sale. Tom will be there to divert them into the correct corral. Simple, right?” 

Connor looked back over all the steps Katty had described and shook his head as he muttered, “Yeah, very simple.”

Katty laughed and said, “It’ll all make sense once we get going. You just make sure you don’t let a calf get in that chute.” 

Five hours later, Connor led Fenrir to the trailer. After loosening his girth and ensuring he had water, Connor sat against the fence to eat his lunch. He didn’t remember ever working so hard, but he was proud of the morning he’d had. They were finished with Clint’s cattle, and after lunch, they’d meet Aiden and Clint. 

Katty and the boys all sat on either side of Connor. They were all looking at him with sidelong glances. Finally, Rory said, “I thought you ain’t never rode til last week? You looked good out there this morning.”

Before Connor could reply, Ronin mumbled, “Whatever. He’s got a good horse.”

Connor glared at Ronin, then turned to Rory and said, “I just did it how Shamus taught me. Fenrir did do most of the work.”

Katty nodded her head, then said, “Well, this afternoon, you’re with Granda and me. We’ll be cutting, branding, and tagging.” 

Ronin muttered, “Your horse can’t help you there.”

Connor glared and quickly took another bite of his sandwich. He had watched the twins working that morning, and their knives had made quick work of removing the balls of the male calves. Tagging looked easy, almost like piercing their ear. The branding didn’t look very tough either, but the smell of burning hair and hide was something Connor would never forget. 

Everyone was surprised that Danny had ridden the entire morning, keeping up with Katty and never complaining. He even chased after a few steers that tried to circle away, pushing them back into the herd and keeping them moving. When he rode up, Connor got up and lifted him down from Mac Tíre’s back. When Connor went to lead Mac Tíre to the water, Danny grabbed the reins and said it was his responsibility. Everyone watched in awe as the boy, barely more than a toddler, led his horse to the water and hay. They all had to stifle a giggle when the boy called for Connor to help loosen the girth. 

That done, Connor helped Danny make a sandwich, then sat with the boy in his lap as he ate. Katty and Ronin were arguing about who was going to cut hay on Thursday while Rory sat quietly cutting up an apple, occasionally tossing a slice to his twin. The apple finished, the twins got up and began loading horses into the trailer. They knew enough to let Mac Tíre and Fenrir finish their meal before finally loading them into the back of the trailer. 

When they returned, Connor turned to Rory and asked, “I was trying to watch how you cut their balls off, but you were going so fast. Would you explain it to me?” 

Rory shrugged and said, “Just get a big pinch of his sack below the balls and pull it down so it’s away from his nuts. Then cut that skin off and feel around until you grab a ball. Pull it out along with all the tube that it’s attached to. Just keep pulling until it rips. Find the other ball and do the same thing.”

Connor looked confused, so Regan explained, “Some say it’s better to cut the vas deferens; others say rip. We’ve always ripped and never had any problems.” 

Connor nodded, then asked, “I read about banding too. Have you ever tried that?”

Katty said, “Banding makes them uncomfortable twice. Once when you band them, then again when the balls fall off. Plus, it’s easier to accidentally band just one nut and leave a bull rather than a steer. If you pull two out, you’re sure you have a steer.” 

Ronin stood and said, “Let’s get moving. I’m sure you’re eager to get your hands on those balls.” 

Connor wasn’t sure what his cousin meant by the comment, but for some reason, it pissed him off. He stood and got in Ronin’s face, saying, “I don’t know what your problem is, but if you don’t knock off the shit, I’ll cut your balls off with the calves’.” 

Ronin simply stood his ground. The two boys stood nose to nose for what seemed like an hour until Shamus shouted, “You two want to dance, do it on your own time. We’ve got work to do. Get your asses in the truck, now!” 

Both boys mumbled, “Yes, sir.” Ronin headed for the truck. Connor grabbed Danny’s hand and helped him into his car seat. Both boys glared out the window, refusing to speak. 

Katty drove them the 17 miles to where Clint and Aiden were waiting. They had the portable corrals set up to sort the cattle and hold the sale pairs. The keepers would be let through a gate and into an adjacent field. 

As they were unloading the horses, Katty approached Connor and quietly said, “Don’t let Ronin get to you. He’s just jealous. I think he has it in his head that he should manage the ranches instead of you.” 

Connor didn’t know what to say. He mumbled, “I still don’t know why Shamus insists I’m the one. You and Ronin know so much more about this stuff.”

Katty gave Connor a sad look, then said, “You’ll understand soon. I know it’s tough right now, but trust Granda, okay?” 

Connor huffed, “I do trust him, Katty. I just wish he’d tell me more. He hasn’t told me anything.”

Katty put her hand on Connor’s arm and said, “Trusting him means trusting him without conditions. If he gave you all the details, you wouldn’t need to trust him.”

Connor thought about that for a moment, then sighed and nodded. He knew she was right. He didn’t need to waste mental energy worrying about things he couldn’t control. He had to focus on learning how to do the jobs in front of him. If he was going to take over the ranch someday, he needed to learn how things were done. 

Right now, the job in front of him involved a sharp knife. He had to focus on his own safety. He was glad he had asked the twins to explain their method to him. After removing the balls from the first few calves, Connor realized it was actually quite simple. Three hours later, he was washing the blood from his hands. He turned and watched as Katty branded the steer he had just castrated. 

“Ready to swap?” Katty asked as she placed the branding iron in the propane heater. Connor couldn’t help but think that the contraption looked like his Da’s barbeque grill. 

Shamus stepped up from where he had been watching his grandchildren and said, “I’ll show you how to brand while Katty takes over the cutting.”

Connor looked up and said, “I’ve been watching, and it looks simple. Grab the iron that’s been in the fire the longest and check that it’s grey, not red. Make sure the calf is held stable, then hold the iron firm on the calf’s left hip for a count of five.” 

Shamus nodded as he said, “That’s pretty much it. Just remember to keep your mind on the job. I don’t want your cousins branded.” 

Connor happened to be looking at Ronin at the time. The image of branding Ronin’s ass popped into Connor’s mind, and he couldn’t hold back the fit of giggles. Shamus followed Connor’s gaze and chuckled, “No, not even if he’s been mean to you.” 

Connor got his laughing under control and said, “I’m sorry, Granda. I wouldn’t actually do it, but ya gotta admit, it would be funny.”

Katty giggled as she grabbed the balls of a calf and said, “I’ve thought about castrating Ronin and Emmet several times. You don’t know how lucky you are being an only child.” 

Connor was holding the brand to a calf’s hip as he shook his head and replied, “I guess I can see your point, but it’s lonely. I didn’t have a lot of friends at school. Maybe having a brother or sister would have been nice.” He placed the iron back in the heater and grabbed a new one. “I’m sure you get on each other’s nerves, but I bet you’ve got each other’s backs too.” 

Katty pulled the second ball out of the calf as she said, “We’ve got your back too, cousin. Even Ronin does. Never doubt that.” 

Three hours later, Connor dipped all the branding irons into a bucket of water, then turned off the heater. His feet hurt, his hands were sore, his back was stiff, and he had to pee. He turned to ask Katty where he should take care of that and found her squatting with her jeans around her ankles. 

He quickly turned away but heard her say, “I’m just peeing, geesh. Feel free to pull yours out and let loose. The cows won’t care, and neither will any of us. Just don’t make a puddle where we have to work.”

Connor couldn’t help staring at her as he said, “But you’re a girl.”

Katty laughed as she stood and pulled her jeans up. “No shit, Sherlock. And you’re a boy. What’s the problem?”

Connor paused a second, then realized he was being silly. He glanced towards Katty, then unzipped and peed. He noticed that she glanced at his exposed body for a second, then started packing the now cool brands into their canvas bag. When he finished, he joined her in carrying the brand heater to the truck. 

“Sorry about making a big deal of that,” He said as they loaded things into the truck. “I’m not shy about my body. It just caught me off guard that you’d be so casual about it too.” 

Katty smirked at him and said, “We’re all naked most of the time when we’re not working. I’ve seen the boys playing with themselves since we were toddlers. They’ve seen me doing it too.” She saw the shocked look on Connor’s face and quickly explained, “Oh, don’t get the wrong idea. We don’t do stuff together, well, I mean, we do, but we don’t do that. I’m messing this all up. Just understand that when we go to the lake in the summer, the boys start playing with themselves, then I do, then they play with each other sometimes.” She sighed, then added, “I’m still messing it up. You probably think we’re weird or something.” 

The twins had walked up during Katty’s attempt at explaining, and Rory said, “What my cousin is trying to say is that we don’t have sex with her, but we boys do sometimes help each other out. Is that clear as mud for ya?”

Connor adjusted the tent in his jeans as he said, “Um, yeah. I mean, it’s natural for guys our age to need relief, right?”

Regan said, “Especially you, this summer. Ronin’s been jerkin twice a day all month.”

Katty giggled and added, “Hey! Girls like some relief too ya know? It’s normal for me too.” 

Regan looked at Rory and they seemed to be communicating for a moment, then Rory sighed and said, “Katty, we know we’ve done that stuff together forever, but I’m starting to think about girls that way. Would you be upset if we asked you not to do it with us?”

Regan continued for his twin, “We love you like a sister, but that’s the problem. The last time we all… you know… we just don’t want to be looking at you in that way, you know?”

Katty smiled and nodded as she said, “I get it guys. Ronin said kinda the same thing last week. But we hang out all the time, so if I gotta behave, so do you guys. You can’t start something then expect me to just walk away and let you boys do your thing.” 

Connor had noticed something Rory had said. He turned to Regan and said, “I noticed Rory said he’s starting to think about girls. What about you? It’s cool if you don’t want to say. I just thought it odd how he said it.”

Regan smiled and said, “Nah, it’s fine. All the cousins know. I kinda think I’m gay. Ma says I’m too young to know, but she said it don’t matter, she’ll love whoever I mate with.”

Connor paused to consider Regan’s use of the word mate, rather than date, but he didn’t have time to dwell on it. Ronin came riding up with Danny close behind. As Connor lifted Danny from his saddle, he heard Ronin grumbling about babysitting. Connor put Danny down, helped him loosen the girth on his saddle, then watched as the boy led his horse to the trailer. 

Once Danny was out of earshot, Connor whipped around and grabbed Ronin by the shirt collar, pulling him close and growling, “You don’t have to be nice to me, but if you ever hurt that boy, I’ll cut your nuts off and feed them to you. You got it? He’s an angel, and no one is ever going to hurt him again. Are we clear?”

Ronin just stared until Connor shook him. He nodded his head and said, “Yeah, I got it.”

Connor released his hold on Ronin and shoved him away. He started to turn to follow Danny when he saw Ronin’s fist coming. Without conscious thought, Connor ducked under the punch and snapped out with his right fist. His punch connected with Ronin’s chin and sent the boy flying backwards. He stumbled, then landed on his butt, right in a fresh pile one of the cows had dropped. 

Ronin glared up at Connor, then his eyes seemed to glaze over, changing from his usual dark brown to a golden hazel. Connor stared in shock as Ronin’s whole body started to shake and convulse. He didn’t mean to hit his cousin that hard. Connor started to worry that he’d done some real damage. 

He shouted for Shamus or Katty to come help, then continued to stare as his cousin’s body twisted. Ronin bent over violently at the waist, pulling his knees to his chest and moaning. Connor felt helpless as his cousin continued convulsing and writhing in pain. He was about to kneel and try to do something, anything when he saw Ronin’s face begin to bulge. His chin was stretching, longer, narrower. Connor began to question his own sanity when he thought he saw Ronin’s hands growing narrower while his fingernails turned black and sharp. 

Connor's brain could take it no longer. He finally passed out when he realized he was looking down at one of the young wolves he had seen from his bedroom, less than twenty-four hours ago. 

 

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